Chapter Nine: A Place To Think

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Chapter Nine: A Place to Think


The door was closed when I arrived, panting and sweaty, the plate of bronze staring into my frightened eyes as I pounded away, fruitless in my efforts, nothing but a sore hand in return.

The door did not budge, of course, such was not its way, but held firm, unyielding as it stalked me with unblinking eyes of bronze plate. I held my battered fist up, again, ready to throw all the force I could muster at the door, but as I looked at it, my knuckles white with rage, I dropped it down to my side, and stepped back from the tower, my heart heavy in my chest.

I had found things out, found things about my father that I had been searching for, ever since his death, and yet, I had lost just as much. I had made no ground. Like Onctis states in The Mind: to achieve something remarkable in one facet of life, is to loose something equally as remarkable in the conflicting facet. The words echoed through my mind as I stood there.

I looked up at the tower, a stout grey thing against the painted sky, and down at my hands. Then, I walked away, turned my back on all that I had. To be fair, I didn't know what I was doing. Sorrow and pain can do powerful things to a man, but they can also do quite stupid things as well. Most times, it is uncontrollable.

As I let my foot fall, I heard the door inch ajar behind me, stone grinding against stone, and I glimpsed Aryl's hooded figure as he stood in the threshold, but only for a moment. He did not look me in the eyes, only slipped away into the shadows behind without a word, as shadow itself.

I hurried after him, my heart invisible within my chest. I closed the door behind me and ran up the curving steps to the dark room as fast as I could. The hearth was dark and pale in the middle morning.

"You're late," he said, heavy and final. The words filled the silence of the tower and filtered into every crack and crevice of stone, consuming my ears, engulfing my thoughts. I staggered slightly before I spoke.

"Aryl, please," I tried to say, but he was quick, terribly quick.

"I thought we agreed, Kaedn," he barked back, not looking at me, voice like venom. "Fourth bell, you are to be in this tower, waiting for me. Fourth bell."

"Yes," I said. "I know, but I was just in the library and,"

"Fourth bell," he said again, stretching out the words until they hung like mist about the space. "We are done with lessons."

"That's not fair!" I said, quickly this time, stunned somewhat by the finality of his decision, raw emotion spewing from my mouth.

"Fair?" he said. "Fair is nothing. It does not exist. It will never exist. I set down the rules, Kaedn, you disobeyed, we're done." He made for the stairs.

"What about you?" I shouted. "I waited an hour for you to show yesterday, it was fifth bell when you arrived! How is this fair! How is any of this fair!"

"Waiting was part of your lesson," he said cruelly, yet strangely calm. "To wait is to learn, and to know. Knowing is all I can teach you."

"And what about those books you had me read?" I asked, a mad fury boiling inside my chest. "I read all seven of them, and for what? We didn't even talk about them...we don't talk about anything!"

"You are not ready for my lessons anyway if you think them meaningless," he said, spite on his tongue. "I should have never started them."

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