Anti-Romantics

Until Death Do us Part

Meredith stared at herself in the mirror in the thin  sheath white dress she was wearing. Her hair was down and curled perfectly framing her face with a few pinned baby breaths. She couldn't believe who she was looking at, she couldn't believe she was getting married. The day had come and she couldn't have felt more alone despite Izzie ordering around the caterers or Cristina talking her off a ledge. She took a second to herself and took a deep breath. When she opened her eyes Derek was behind her causing her to jump.

"Don't do that!" Her hand placed over her chest feeling her heart rate slow. 

"You look.. wow.. you look.. gorgeous." He took a deep breathe. "I don't know how to say this. I, what I came in here to say was that I'm in love with you. I have always been in love with you. Don't marry him if you're marrying him because you feel he is the only man who loves you. Because god, I have loved you since I first set my eyes on you. When I laid my eyes on you in that dusty old bar I knew you were the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I know I fucked up a lot and there are a billion reasons why I don't deserve you but I would regret not saying this to you forever. I want to build a future with you, I want to have kids with you, I want to fight with you over the smallest things when we are old and senile, I want to hear your obnoxious laughter, I want to be with my best friend for the rest of my life. So what I am saying.. what I am asking is for you to really think long and hard about this decision. Even if you do marry him I'll wait, I'd wait an eternity if it meant being with you."

She locked the door and pushing him against the wall kissing him.

"Meredith-"

"Shut up." She breathed for air in between kisses. Her hands began taking off each part of his suit quickly starting from the coat all the way down to the pants.

"Are you sure about this?" He began unzipping the back of her dress.

"Oh my god shut up we have ten minutes."

He followed her instructions and the ten minutes flew by. Cristina knocked on the door as the two both rushed to get ready without looking suspicious.  He zipped the back of her dress thrown off guard. "You're really getting married?"

" I'm so sorry. He's a good guy and he doesn't deserve this. I'm so sorry Derek. I.. he's a good guy and what would that make me? I need to be with someone who is all in with me, and you tell me right before I am walking down the isle. It's a lot and I can't do a lot because I have to be something other than a disappointment to the world. I need to.. I need to do something for myself."

"This isn't for yourself."

"Are you going to walk me down the isle still?" Her voice monotone.

"Is that what you want? Is this really what you want? Because I would never do anything to make you upset."

"Yes." She spoke coldly.

The two opened the door facing Cristina. They linked arms and started their descent across the isle. The aisles were full of people from the hospital. She felt all the eyes on her. Breathing began to feel like a chore. She was just praying she wouldn't fall or do something she'd hate herself for. As Derek let go of her arm to sit down he felt like a piece of him was breaking. He felt like he had just let go of the last ounce of happiness he had in his life. Bailey noticed his sad demeanor, she gave him an empathetic smile.

The preacher began the ceremony. "We are gathered here today to join Joshua Riley and Meredith Grey in holy matrimony. If anyone is to object, speak now or forever hold your peace." She looked out into the aisles quickly looking for him. Everything was becoming a blur. All of a sudden she heard Josh saying his part of the vows.  "Now Meredith repeat after me, 'I promise to honor and sustain you Joshua in sickness and in health until death do us part.'

"I, Meredith promise to honor and sustain you Derek in sickness and in health until death do us part."