Foxblood: A Brush with the Moon

20 Christmas day

Christmas dinner was a very female affair. Three chairs lay empty. Connor, whose injuries were now barely noticeable, sat at the head of the harem, mutely conducting the specially brought in staff with a nod of the head or a flick of the hand. Every sound bounced off the walls and echoed around the huge dining room, accentuating the absence of more occupants. The meal passed by in a blur. My mind wasn’t in the room. I’d eagerly been looking forward to a long-forgotten, proper, family Christmas, but now my happy bubble was severely deflated.

Time dragged, and the evening passed with more of the same. There was still no sign of Sebastian returning, and my mood hit rock bottom. Not even Beth’s tipsy motormouth could pull me out of the depression I was rapidly sinking into. I feigned tiredness and retired early.

Sleep refused to relieve me of my thoughts, and when the weak rays of morning sunlight peeped through a gap in the curtains, they made an unwelcome addition to the room.

Unlike Beth, morning tardiness had never been my problem, but I lay there, sleepless, longer than I should have, until soulful notes from the piano drifted faintly up the stairwell and seeped through the gaps in my door. I wasn’t the only person with things on their mind.

After hauling myself out of bed, I forced myself to shower and let the hot water seer my skin until it stung with pink heat. But I couldn’t wash away my anxieties, so I dried off, grabbed my nightdress from the floor, and returned to the bedroom, where Connor stood, staring.

“Knock much?” I asked, my screwed-up nightdress not doing anything to cover my modesty.

“I…er…” he stammered, drinking in the view. “Sorry.”

Swiftly grabbing my dressing gown, I turned to put it on. “A gentleman would knock. What do you want?”

“One guess,” he mumbled, barely audible.

“Pardon?”

He paused. “It’s late. You didn’t come down for breakfast.”

“And you thought I might have gone… Of course you did. Unbelievable. Don’t you think one brush with death was enough for me? Do you think I fancy giving that monster a second chance to finish me off?”

At the word monster, a pained and defeated expression crossed Connor’s face. It quickly turned to anger, and he abruptly saluted, retreated, and departed silently, leaving me feeling like the school bully for screaming at him with unspoken insinuations.

I dressed laboriously and simply in plain trousers, a classic polo neck jumper, and a long, sleeveless cardigan, accessorising the outfit with a chunky bangle and a huge necklace. Then I stood staring at my reflection in the vanity mirror.

How far away my old life in Brumpton seemed. Back then, even my wildest imaginings could not have pictured how the course of my life was going to change. Where was the young student with dreams of being an artist? She certainly wasn’t visible in the mirror before me. I had secretly undergone a complete metamorphosis into the Lady of the manor, and I wasn’t sure if I were wholly comfortable with that. It felt like a pretty lonely position, and loneliness is scarier than any monster.

Beth bounded through my door and landed excitedly on the bed. “Hey, sleepyhead. I’ve been practising, and I think I’ve got it figured out.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The walking through walls thingy. I can do doors too. Want to see?”

“Not right now, Beth, I…”

“What are you wearing? You look like my Grandma.”

“I do, don’t I?”

“You need to get out of here. Take a break from Sebastian and all this weirdness. It’s not good for you. Look, let’s go home, see our other friends, do a bit of partying…yes? Lara’s already left. Connor’s being a total grump. That leaves a lush, a granny, and an introvert inbred, not exactly how I’d planned to see in the New Year. Pleeease?”

I stared at her smiling face and couldn’t say no. “Yeah, you’re right. As always. I’ll start packing.”

Thirty minutes later, we descended the staircase and deposited our full bags by the door. The lounge was devoid of life, and I felt awful leaving anonymously, but the taxi’s horn beckoned.

“Well goodbye house,” I shouted at the ceiling, as Beth let the winter chill in and headed outside. “Maybe I’ll be back, maybe not.” I bent to retrieve my bag, but Connor’s hand beat me to it, and he held it out for me.

“I heard your little farewell speech and tripped down. Running away now?” I ignored him and snatched my case from his hand. “What’s up? Can’t stand being alone with me?” His face wore a mask, but his eyes held a challenge I didn’t have the will to oppose.

“I just think it would be better if Beth and I returned home. Tell Sebastian to ring me when he gets back.” I began to leave, but paused with my hand on the door handle and looked over my shoulder. “On second thoughts…don’t bother.”

“Miss you,” he whispered, as I pulled the door shut on his bewildered face.