Through Your Silence

Chapter 2 : The man with scars

Dorothy Arya

It's been 3 day after that incident.
I have recovered a lot from the traumatic experience which I had got from Vishal's sudden demise. Vishal had always taught me to stay strong, I know he had been the only one who understood me and my only true family, but I also understand that death is the most uncertain thing in the whole world. I have nothing to do with it and I have no control over it. I am Dorothy Arya ,a 28 years old grown woman , a "not so good" teacher and I generate my own income.
" I can take care of myself." I whispered to myself.

I know I can keep myself in good mental state if I want but I don't have any idea when my anxiety attack might strick , I actually enter a different world whenever the devil hits me : a world full of extreme negetive vibrations , as if it wants me to finish myself everytime.
"I shouldn't think about it anymore, not about my syndrome, not about his death , not about that guy even ! " I murmured to myself. But how can I don't think about that guy , he was such a mystic being , he came from nowhere and now his eyes are the only thing that have surrounded my mind and his silence is the loudest voice that's been ringing.

"Anan Bansali" I murmured to myself.
I never knew just a name and a man's eye can be such impactful for me.

If Vishal had been alive, I could have shared the unexplainable vibration with him, he might have cracked a joke about me being so much obsessed with someone. But I except that he is no more. He won't come back. Never.

"May I enter ?" Anu asked with a smile standing infront of the door . "If you are not busy with something..."

"Absolutely yaar , This is your house , why are you asking me if you should come in or not"

"Babe everyone needs privacy" Anu said in reply with that constant smile she had been holding.

She put a cup of tea infront of me and took her cup and sipped from it , "I actually make good tea." She said.

I was still thinking about Anan, in the meantime the fact that his notebook is still with me stricks me. I had nearly forgotten about that . "HOW CAN I FORGOT ABOUT THAT !" I screamed in my mind but my attention was taken away by Anu when she asked "How was the counciling?"

"Yeah?"

"How was the counciling Doro?" She repeated.

"Oh , it was good, I am feeling a lot better after that sitting with Dr.Awasti , He had prescribed some pills and I think they work really fine"

Anu's eyes changed all on a sudden, it felt as if she was showering sympathy towards me , although she isn't maybe, I don't know. "Wanna go out?" She asked while adding some sugar into her tea from the pot.

"Yah why not, I need some fresh air" I said in a low voice, but as soon as I said that; It started again, "The Devil is emerging" I uttered silently and Anu Heard it. She knew what that meant and she ran to take out some fluoxatine . She handed me a glass of water and the pills. I took them immediately and closed my eyes tightly. I knew why it's happening again. I was supposed to take fresh air three days ago when I went out but I tended to jump from the cliff and end my life . The thoughts are getting heavier again, I have started to sweat hard and my heartbeat has increased. I hugged Anu tightly and she kept on patting me.

"It's normal, it's fine Dorothy, Everything is fine." She was panting, as if Anu could feel what's going on inside me. "I am here, I am here see."

My heartbeat came back to Normal, "
"it's getting fine, I am okay" I said , stil sweating. "I want to go out"

It's been two hours since my anxiety attack occurred but now it feels as if nothing ever happened. The mountains are looking absolutely fantastic from this point.
The mountains are just like me , They shake , they break but still they are strong and stable. I might start my work again, I will feel better if I start working again. Atleast being involved into teaching can bring me happiness right now it seems. I am getting astonished to find out how much changes have taken place in me within the past few days. I used to hate my work and now I only want to return to it. I only want to be busy with something. I can't stay forever in Anu's place, She has her personal life. Maybe some more days and I will find somewhere to rent and stay. Maybe it's the way of life, nothing is stable , we have to move on continuously.