Too Scared To Say Something Sooner - TMD [Mainly Chadam]

Chapter 7: Trouble In Paradise

Adam

I would like to say that I came to my senses and was less of an asshole when I came back from my walk -effectively skipping practice, I might add- but I would be lying.

I had given Charlie the cold shoulder, even though he had helped me that morning and even though he had been trying to help me again before I blew up at him. He didn't deserve it, I know. I just didn't know how to apologize; how to tell him I didn't mean what I'd said. I was never good at the whole friend thing. I had pretty sucky ones for the first eleven years of my life.

Charlie stayed true to his word too, which made things a lot harder. I was left with the responsibility of starting the very much needed conversation. And as I said before, I'm not good at the whole friend thing.

So, I procrastinated.

I changed and brushed my teeth in the bathroom, taking longer than usual, which resulted in me wasting a solid thirty minutes. I was planning on talking to him after that, but one look at him reading on his bed and all the courage I had scraped together escaped me. Charlie Conway -who doesn't do his homework until forced to- was willingly reading.

Defeated, I went straight to bed, even though it had only been 7:00 and dinner is scheduled to be at 7:30 every night. I was planing on skipping dinner anyway, hence the changing into PJ's and brushing my teeth. I simply planned on skipping dinner being less depressed.

I stared at the wall, instead of closing my eyes, not even close to falling into even a semi-conscious slumber. I half-hoped Charlie would go to dinner without me whilst also half-hoping he would force me to go with him.

He ended up leaving me alone.

I decided to at least try to sleep, letting the silence and beat of the day wash over me. I was surprised it took less than the forty-five minutes Charlie was gone, but it wasn't all that worth it. I rested in a fitful slumber and woke up more tired than I was the day before.

Tuesday went by painfully slow and surprising fast at the same time. It was torture not talking to Charlie, and to make it worse it rained. According to school rules, "Students are to eat inside the cafeteria during periods of precipitation."

I begrudgingly sat at the end of the table, not at my normal spot next to my best friend and only poking at my food. I got some questioning looks from the team, but ignored them. I too was embarrassed and stressed to address anyone.

Luckily, my expression and slightly unkempt appearance seemed to give them the hint that I didn't want to talk, which was refreshing. I liked just listening to people. Not eavesdropping per se, but just being there and letting words roll through you, not really caring what they were. Like white noise.

It became too much after a while, since normally when I was simply existing and not really apart of anything, I was left with my thoughts. I didn't like my thoughts sometimes.

Today, however, was bound to be no different if something didn't change. I was determined to make something change.

I didn't like when fights with Charlie lasted this long. Normally, we just had it out with each other until we came to some sort of conclusion and/or apology. This time was different for some unknown reason and extremely emotionally draining. Especially since we were roommates now, too.