What the signs would get arrested for

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Aries: starting a riot
Taurus: robbing a deli
Gemini: identity thief
Cancer: kidnapping
Leo: flashing
Virgo: fraud
Libra: shoplifting
Scorpio: stalking
Sagittarius: grand theft auto
Capricorn: embezzlement
Aquarius: civil disobedience
Pisces: drug possession

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