Horrible Sanity

Chapter 1

CLICK! CLACK! CLICK! CLACK!

I kept my hands in my pockets as so to hide them from the unfamiliar world around me. My footsteps thudded loudly in the quiet peace of the concrete outside halls surrounded by brick columns supporting the roof above my head. The sun was shining bright in between the brick columns and concrete that was poured in between them like assort of gate or border for the edge of the halls, but the rays of the sun, resting near the top of the sky, could not keep out the chill of the cold in the air. I pressed my arms closer to my torso, squeezing more warmth toward me.

The wind blew my loose locks of dirty blonde hair up into the wind and left a bitter chill on my exposed forehead. I pulled a small dark brown beanie out of my jacket pocket and pet my hair down, setting the beanie down over my hair as to keep my bangs trapped as a blanket for my forehead. I quickly rubbed my hands together and put them back in my pockets.

My old, shaggy, brown jacket fought out the chill from the air, "Chilly out here isn't it?" The nurse turned around and offered me a kind smile, her wrinkles bagging around her laugh lines as she smiled.

I nodded at the woman, towering over her as she turned around and kept the lead as we walked, "Yeah, colder than it's been in a while." I added to her small talk. I tolerated the talk for now; it was the only thing saving us from the uncomfortable reality of the situation we were in.

I turned my head to the left and looked out at the grassy hills and the lake where some groups of people were enjoying a cool day in the sun. I hadn't been here in a while, in about a month or two, I'd lost track, but it still felt like just yesterday when my friend helped me move my grandfather here to Safe Haven.

"It's not an asylum." She had told me.

"You want me to put my grandfather in the crazy house?" I scoffed a laugh out once in disbelief.

She rolled her eyes and hit me on the shoulder, "Shut up! It's not a crazy house! It's really a great place. The people there... they'll take good care of him." Her tone changed, deepened to a serious, caring tone.

"Yeah..." I tilted my head down into my lap and rubbed the back of my neck, letting out a long sigh.

"He needs help." She reminded me, "You can't take care of him anymore."

Her words echoed in my mind even now as I neared the building where my grandfather now resided, out of my care. I let the days get away from me, always insisting I'd visit him tomorrow. But the longer I waited, the easier it became to put it off and the harder it seemed to want to come knowing I must leave him once more.

But would he have even noticed the difference between once a week and once month or maybe even once a year?

He wasn't himself anymore. I had lost my grandfather.

But he was all I had left, so I kept walking.

I'm not sure what urge had taken me over and forced me to come visit my grandfather that day, maybe it was guilt from not visiting in so long, or maybe it was fate knowing better than I ever could. Maybe there was something in the air that morning, some spirit urging me on to my path of destiny. Maybe I was feeling lonely again. I could list an infinite amount of maybes, as any one person could for listing reasons for any life event. But for some strange, unexplainable reason, I felt compelled to come visit my grandfather that Saturday.

I guess in all honesty, it does not matter the reason I was there that day.

I was there and that's all that mattered.