"So where have you been?" Nox asks me as the pilot announces our take off in the cramped three seat row we're stuck in.
Normally I'd take my jet but I'm trying to lie low, look like a civilian a regular everyday person and the fact that I managed to get all three of us including a prince who everyone is on the hunt for is particularly impressive of me if I do say so myself. Maybe I should give my ID and fake documents guy a little bonus for his very good work.
"Around" I answer instead of giving him a proper answer. Nox is stuck between Maisie and I, and while she's fast asleep from the medication she slipped when no one was looking due to her fear of flight, Nox and I seem to be wide awake.
"That's not really an answer" he says with crossed arms. Instead of facing him I look out of the window to my right and pretend I'm looking at something more interesting.
"Kamari? What happened to you?" He says softly like he's talking and coaxing a shy animal out of hiding. Well he shaky of fucking stop because I'm anything but a shy and needy animal.
"Nothing's happened, everything is fine, I'm fine" I says softly between us as you not wake Maisie up. I mean she's pretty much gone right now with all her loud snores that seem to be annoying the lady in the next aisle over but still. She needs her rest and truthfully I do too but I can't sleep on any moving motor vehicle.
"That's a lie and you know it. I mean yeah you've always been fierce and string willed just like your dad but you never wanted to kill anyone. And just a few days ago you killed like fifty people, no remorse, no anger just nothing. So no I don't believe that you're fucking fine" he says all in one breath like he can't rush the words out faster if her tried.
"I don't want to talk about it okay? It's not pleasant for me and it'll be even less pleasant for you. It's my business" I try to muster as much finality in my tone as possible but it seems all my years of being away from home I've forgotten how persistent and insistent Nox can be. I mean he is a prince no is a difficult word for him to comprehend most of the time.
"Your business is my business remember? We made a promise, we promised we'd always be there for each other, that we'd care.
Well here I am Mari and I care I care a lot. My best friends family found in the most brutal of murders seen in the world with her nowhere in sight? Yeah it's my business. Do you know how long I've been praying praying Kamari for you to come back home and when I do find you again and deserve an explanation you tell me it's none of my business? Fuck that. Fuck that."
"Im sorry that I don't want to talk about the most horrific thing that's ever happened to me and will ever happen to me Nox. I'm sorry I can't hand to your needs and wounds right now because I am drowning trying to tend to mine. Do you know how hard it is to live with this thing that they've made me? It's in my fucking soul Nox so excuse me if I don't want to talk about it." I give him what must be my best glare but the look in his eyes tells me he's not back down.
"No I don't know Kam 'cus you won't talk to me. And you have no idea how horrible it's been for me too." His nostrils flare and it seems almost like steam is coming out of his nose.
"Oh yeah Nox it must be so fucking hard being a prince and getting what you want. Having everyone tend to your every need because you're the only heir. Having everything at your finger tips. Everyone making sure your goddamn happy all the fucking time. Yes it must be so exhausting Nox. So exhausting"
"Fuck you, you don't know the half of my pain and it's all your fault. Nothing makes me happy, nothing because I lost you! I've been grieving you for seven long years. I have been in agony because the only thing, the only person that I've ever cared about, that I've ever loved, that I've ever wanted was ripped away from me. Do you know who found the bodies that day? I did. And I screamed and screamed and screamed.
