The Fake Fan | Nom |

Chapter Fifteen ➳ Nathan

Chapter Fifteen:

➳

Nathan;

"Nathan, Nathan!" Jess ran into my room, pushing the door open and in seconds she was threw herself on my bed, a big cheesy grin on her face. It was like deja vu. "Guess what?"

"What?" I grumbled, hiding my yawn behind my hand, I watched as the smile on her face never faltered even if I was being my brooding self. Sue me, It was ten in the morning. That is way too early for me.

"They are here!"

I furrowed my eyebrows, who were here?

Noticing my confusion she dramatically rolled her eyes and then started shaking me, as if that would help with my obvious confusion. "Tom and Max!"

"What?!" I panicked, "Are they here now? Like in the house?"

My sister started to giggle. "No! They are in Manchester!"

It suddenly clicked, their tour had finished. They would obviously have a break in which they would spend time with their families. However, I was a little miffed that I hadn't heard from Tom ever since I went to his show in London.

That was two weeks ago now.

Jess, who was no lying down beside me on my bed, began to fantasise about what would happen if she bumped into them on the street. Which was highly unlikely, unless Max and Tom felt like venturing around south Manchester.

My mind began to wander, latching on to the fact that Tom was on a break. This may mean he could have text me (hopefully). Knowing fully well that I sounded like a clingy girlfriend, I delved deeper into my thoughts and just hoped and prayed that I was right.

There had been times where I have been close to texting him but I always chickened out; I wasn't brave enough to press send. It all always felt that I was being too conceited, too cheeky, too intrusive, too rude. And that's not what I wanted.

I shouldn't be this overwhelmed with anxiety either over sending a text, but I was and that was something that I couldn't help. It was almost as if my body was doing it on purpose, suffocating me with insecurities; feeding off of my doubts.

Constantly feeling sick, my chest feeling tight, my breathing erratic was something that I didn't want. Waiting for Tom to text me first would be my best bet but I had no clue as to when that would be, so for now I would have to stay like this.

"Nathan! Are you even listening to me?" My sister snapped me out of my thoughts by yelling right in my face, making me jump.

I silently bit my lip, looking at her with my best innocent facial expression. She shook her head in faux disappointment but we both know that she really wanted to laugh.

"Whatever." And then she left my room.

For a fourteen year old, she sure was sassy.

*

Tired and frustrated after a long day at work, which my supervisor made me stay for an extra two hours to clean up and not paying me was enough to put me in a terrible mood. So as I shoved the key in the door to try and unlock it to find out it was already open was what tipped me over the edge.

I just broke down crying. Outside my house. In the dark.

All of my repressed thoughts came flooding back, drowning my eyes in salty tears. Tom being AWOL was the root cause of my sadness. He seemed like the only person - other than my sister of course - that seemed to love me. I had no friends, my mother doesn't seem to give two shits about me and my father decided to up and leave as soon as Jess was born.

I know I shouldn't rely on people's love for my happiness but that's all I could do when someone as insecure as me is given the small speck of admiration.

Once I had calmed down, I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and slowly inhaled and exhaled. I couldn't go inside the house in this state, I had to make myself look like I was fine - just like I always do.

Just as I thought that I was composed, my phone buzzed from inside my jacket pocket.

It was a text.

A text from Tom.