2.1 | Vishal and Layla

epilogue: dating your rival 101

"Even if there wasn't gravity on Earth, I'd still fall for you."

"Cute. But I can do one better."

It started like this one fine sunny afternoon. And... it has never stopped since. It's been running like a sitcom show and I even named it.

Pick You Up.
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For the first few weeks, Vishal and Layla would just agree and disagree with each other until they find better things to worry about. Two weeks back, they had dragged me into it as the non-consenting member of the jury. Anjali was quick to follow when they found me being 'partial to Vishal'.

Listening to pick-up lines is not the worst thing in the world. Some lines are clever. Like this one: You're so beautiful I forgot my pick-up line (Vishal won that round). Or this one: Your lips look lonely, would they like to meet mine? (Layla won that round, making Vishal's ears turn so pink that he made me swear I'd never tell anyone). I remember this one too:  Let’s flip a coin. Heads you're mine. Tails I am yours (I think it was Layla's line).

Sometimes it makes me nauseous, especially when those corny overused lines make an appearance. Like this one: If I can rearrange the alphabet, I will put U and I together. Or this one: Are you lightning? Coz I wanna make you my McQueen.

But what I want to understand is: What is the point of this pick-up line battle? They are already together, for Lord's sake! What more do they need?

As I watch Layla and Vishal make their way to our table, I groan and put my head down on the table. Anjali pats my head but I don't think she empathizes with me. Her favourite time of the day is listening to the rivals-turned-lovers bicker over whose pickup lines are the best.

This week they have a pattern going on with their lines. Yesterday, it was Physics-related. The winning line was: Excuse me, I am really attracted you and according to Newton's law, you're attracted to me too. Even Layla begrudgingly agreed that it was better than hers.

Today it's Maths.

Anjali looks excited and asks them to begin.

Vishal does. He looks at Layla and smirks. "Are you less than 90 degrees? Because you're acute girl."

Layla smiles dryly and pushes her braid back. "I know I am, thanks."

Vishal rolls his eyes. "Tell me if that's not good," he says, looking at Anjali.

"Let's hear from Layla."

Layla clears her throat and grabs Vishal's hand. (Did I mention that they hold hands under the table all the time?)

"You must be the square root of -1 because you can't be real," she says, tapping his skin with her thumb. "How's that?"

"Uh..." Anjali raises her hand, "why can't the square root of -1 be real?"

Both Vishal and Layla whip their heads to look at her. "Because the square root of a negative number doesn't exist!" they answer together. "We learned this in ninth grade."

"Hey, don't make her feel dumb, you nerds," I intervene.

"But—"

"That's okay. I barely passed math last year. And do you think I give a fuck about non-existing numbers when I barely care about the existing ones?" Anjali asks, leaning back.

Vishal pats Layla's hand. "This is why you shouldn't use lines some people can't understand."

Layla glares at Vishal. "As if everyone knows acute angles?"