In Too Deep (Dancing With The Shadows)

twenty

A week.

They have a week left before Harry leaves and Louis goes back to being alone. 

He doesn't want to think about it, but the numbness of knowing that loneliness, is there, where his thoughts will be dancing with the shadows like before. Harry has helped the shadows lift away, has helped the light stay in within himself, but that is all to change once he steps foot out of these gates. 

Currently, they're in the pool, and have just finished a massive water gun fight which resulted in Louis getting dragged under the water by his feet when he brought the water balloons out and completely drenched Harry. 

Harry swims over to Louis who's on the inflatable pizza slice, the breeze lazily pushing the inflatable around the pool. He pops his head up beside Louis, leaning his arms onto the side of the inflatable which causes it to dip slightly and a trickle of water to rest along Louis' back. Louis peers down at Harry, giving him a smile before closing his eyes again. 

"Can I help you?" Louis asks. "Stalker."

Harry dips under the water, Louis looking around him to see if he can see him. The pizza suddenly lifts up, Louis flails, flopping into the pool with a yelp and splash. Arms wrap around him and he opens his eyes under the water to see the fuzzy figure of Harry grinning toward him, air bubbles escaping from between his teeth and floating up to the surface. Harry cups Louis' cheeks, bringing his lips to his before their bodies instinctively bob them back to the surface.

"Harry," Louis whispers, squinting his eyes a little due to the sting of the chlorine. 

Harry lightly shakes his head to shut Louis up, pressing their lips together and slides his tongue between Louis' teeth, biting lightly on his bottom lip, causing a high pitched moan to fall from Louis' lips. 

Louis' brain clears after the fuzz of Harry's wonderful kisses. That means alarm bells are ringing, deafening his ears and he's quick to pull Harry off him, making space between them in the water. He looks around the place, was sure he heard the hedge trimmer humming in the gardens which has now stopped.

Please say Jamie didn't see that.

He looks toward Harry, wide eyes dropping when he sees the way Harry is frowning, hurt in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," Louis mumbles.

Harry swims away, going to the ladder near the deep end and climbs them, muscles in his arms and back flexing whilst he pulls all his weight onto the first few steps.

He stomps toward the sunbeds, wiping a towel around his face. All Louis can do is watch.

"You know something, Louis. This is the only place I've felt safe enough to put my heart on my sleeve and to be myself. And it gets ruined from your fears," Harry notes, throwing himself down onto the sunbed and grabbing the book he's stolen from Louis, opening it onto the dog-eared page.

Louis' heart sinks. "I... I'm glad that you feel that way, Haz, but you need to remember that I'm not out. And if Jamie or Mabel or Dad saw me kissing a fucking guy in the pool, then they'd know my secret."

Harry's biting down on his back teeth, jaw flexing. "From what I've seen, Louis, they already have their suspicions and they already accept you. That is more than what I can say about the people I'm surrounded with."

"It's different, Harry! You chose to have that life of being a big pop star," Louis begins, feeling his blood beginning to boil. Surely Harry out of everyone, should know what it's like to be in the fucking closet.

He steps out of the water, feels the droplets tickle his skin when they fall down his body.

"You knew what you had to lose, I don't. I don't know what'll happen if anyone around me found out. I could lose everything for all I know! And I don't have that to lose, because I have barely anything to hold on to."