Undersea

Chapter 7: The Green Grass of Paradise

"Bitterness is a choice," thought Sarah bitterly. "Oh help!" she prayed. The vehicle rumbled along the stone street and inside the cabin it was silent. In Sarah's head was noise: thoughts, emotions, feelings, questions all tumbling about like a stream fracturing over many cataracts. The silence grew and mother's expectation for speech grew with it to an uncomfortable level. Mother cleared her throat.

"Captain," she said to the man on Sarah's left, "that will be all for now. Leave us."

The captain nodded and they pulled over. He took one last look at the posh furnishings of the vehicle and then got out. Sarah sat alone with mother.

"Just drive around for a bit," mother said to the driver. There was more silence.

Sarah moved into the seat the captain had occupied and stared out the window. The vehicle was leaving the Old City.

"There must be so many things you want to say to me," said mother soothingly, "life...just hasn't been what we expected..." Her voice trailed off as if unable to gain momentum in the space she and Sarah shared. "I was hoping," said mother, trying again, "that you would come live with us..." Those words thumped Sarah's heart like a drum and she had to take deep breaths to calm herself. Hot tears came and she quickly wiped them away.

"You know I can't do that mother."

"Yes you can," said a gentle voice; but it was not mother's.

"Just give him a chance!" pleaded mother, "Jack loves him! He cares for us so much! I wish you could see him the way I do, the way Jack does!"

"And then what?" Sarah asked, "and then we'd be one big happy family? Father's gone, grandma's gone, does that even mean anything to you? The man you married is part of the system that brought an end to them. A system that will no doubt bring an end to Undersea itself!"

"Undersea is strong Sarah, can't you see? Every obstacle we face we overcome, nothing stands in our way! Daily our scientists invent new ways of becoming better people. All our problems are being solved by them. Don't they deserve our allegence?"

Sarah had heard these things said about Undersea before-in school from her teachers and elsewhere. It made her sad that it was now coming from her mother. Somehow that hit closer to home even though they had not spoken in a long, long while.

"And you'll need somewhere to stay," mother was saying, "come stay with us! We'd be happy to have you!"

"Father's dead," said Sarah abruptly, turning to mother, "father's dead and you don't care! How-how dare you! I don't see you for years and suddenly the day after he's gone you just show up with a goon squad and expect me to act like nothing happened! Where you just waiting for him to be out of the picture before you swooped in?"

Mother was silent and the vehicle rumbled on.

"Sarah," she began, "there are some things you just don't understand..."

"I'd love to hear about them."

"After grandma's inquiry it was about survival, okay? I saw an opportunity and I took it, for Jack and I. You refused to come. Don't begrudge the bright future we've had..."

"You left him mother! You left him when he needed you most."

"Don't you judge me Sarah!" said mother, color flushing in her cheeks, "Don't you judge me! I made the right decission! Look in the vehicle you now sit!" Mother motioned to the luxurious interior of the cabin. "All my needs are provided for, I have no worries! Life is good for me and Jack. There was a time when it wasn't. And I was tired of it Sarah, oh so tired!"