With Love, Ada

Tilted Part Two | Freddie & Jacquie

Tilted

Part Two

Freddie & Jacquie

            Secrets carried a certain weight, Freddie had realised recently. You carried them with you, day after day, felt them pressing down on you while you tossed and turned each night. It was like having to carry the world on your shoulders, and no one could help you; each day it got heavier and heavier until it simply crushed you.

Freddie had a secret. It was one secret made up of other secrets, weaving one huge lie-and he was tired of it. Tired of lying to everyone around him-tired of lying to Jacquie.

There seemed to be way out of it, and for a brief moment he thought how simple it would be to just end it-end it all. Swallow Muggle pills, slit his wrists with his wand or digest the entire contents of the house potions cupboard. It could be so simple, and then there would be nothing.

“No.” he whispered to his dark room, grabbing at his hair. Pushing the covers aside, he swung his legs over the side of his bed and crossed the room. Opening the door a crack, he looked across the hall to Jacquie’s room, wondering if he could really do this.

They were the only people who slept on the third floor, his parents, Syrie and Quinn sleeping on the second. No one would know and he could just slip over and confess to everything.

Crossing the hall, Freddie opened his sister’s bedroom door “Jacquie?” he whispered, barely crossing the threshold of her room.

“What?” she mumbled, rolling over with a sigh.

“May I come in?”

“I’m sleeping, Freddie-go away.”

“Please, Jac.” He tried again “Please.”

Sighing, Jacquie sat up “Okay.”

Tiptoeing across the floor, Freddie sat at the end of the bed. He looked out the round window of the bedroom, hair brushing the sloped ceiling. He could see the river reflecting the moonlight down the slope, the moon itself through the trees; his world was beautiful, why would he ever want to leave?

Freddie hated the thought of never seeing his home again.

“You okay, Freddie?” Jacquie asked, scooting closer.

Freddie glanced at his sister, appreciating for a moment how beautiful she was in the moonlight; he hated how boys looked at her sometimes, but he could understand. Her hair was that signature Weasley red, although a little on the orange side, and they both had their mothers silvery grey eyes inherited from their grandfather Sirius’ side. Jacquie was slim and tall, she liked to make people laugh and always laughed with them-she was perfect and likeable and would no doubt be happy in her life.

“What would you do if I disappeared, Jacquie?” he asked.

Wrinkling her nose as she always did when she didn’t understand, Jacquie hugged a large stuffed dragon to her chest “I don’t understand, Freddie.”

“If I died.”

“Oh.” Biting her lip, a habit she’d inherited from their mother, Jacquie also looked out the window “That’s hard, Freddie.”

“I know, but…what would you do?”

Shifting uncomfortably, Jacquie scooted closer to her brother. Her pale pink shorts and tank top looked nearly white in the moonlight, her hair up in a messy bun looking considerably less red “Why?”

“I just need to know.”

“I guess…I can’t even think it.” She said, reaching for his hand “I couldn’t live without you; I honestly don’t know how Dad did it.”

“He had Mum.”

“I don’t have anyone else,” she inched even closer and lay her head on his shoulder. “You’re my twin, by big brother by two minutes; my best friend and favourite person in the whole wide world.” She smiled at him, poking his shoulder, trying to get a smile out of him “Is that enough, your royal highness pain in the arse?”

“Yeah, I just…I want to know you’d be okay without me.”

“I won’t have to,” she said simply “We’ll both die of old age around the same time; it’s like with couples that have been married forever-they die within a few years of each other. They never have to be apart for long.”

“You know I’d never want to hurt you, Jac.” Freddie said quietly “But I don’t think I can do this…this whole trial anymore.”

“What trial? You’re not in court, Fred.” Jacquie let out a small, nervous laugh.

“My whole life is a trial, Jacquie. Every day is a test to see if I can do it, hold it in another day-and I’m tired of it.”

Jacquie’s nose wrinkled a little again, and she held Freddie’s had even tighter “You’re not making any sense.”

“I don’t make sense, I never did-my whole self doesn’t make a bit of sense at all.”

“Freddie,” Jacquie said in a hushed voice “You’re scaring me.”

Turning to look at her, Freddie wished he could just die right then-but his twins quivering lip and slightly wrinkled nose, the eyes they had inherited from their mother gleaming made him stop.

“I like boys, Jacquie.” He said “That’s…that’s why I’m so terrible to any guy that looks at you; I’m jealous that you can have them and I can’t.”

“Oh, Freddie.” Jacquie launched herself at him, strangling him with her thin arms.

Freddie just buried his face in her shoulder, breathing in her smell; it always comforted him. She smelled like outside and cherry blossoms and home. “I thought of leaving you behind, Jacquie.” He whispered into her hair “I’m sorry-I promise I never will.”

“You better not!” she cried, and he realised she was crying, her tears wetting his white pyjama top “Who else would keep me safe from all those boys who only want one thing?” her laugh was more like a sob, but Freddie knew she was okay-okay with him.

“I promise to never leave you alone.” He whispered “Never.”

“Never ever, ever!” Jacquie pulled away and smiled as he wiped her tears away with his thumb, catching his hand in hers “I love you Freddie, just like this-I don’t care who you love, and neither will anyone else. Anyone else that matters, anyway.”

“Right now, I’m just happy that you know.”

“I’m happy I know, too.” She said “And I’m really proud of you, Freddie-more than you know.”

“Really?”

She smiled and hugged him close “Really.”

They got under Jacquie’s covers, her head on his chest; they hadn’t done this in a long time, but it didn’t feel weird-it felt normal and safe.

“I’m just so tired of pretending, Jac.” He said “I’m so tired.”

“I know, Freddie.” Jacquie whispered, kissing his cheek “You can sleep now; I’m right here.”

Letting out a content sigh, Freddie held his twin closer, safe in the knowledge that she would always be there for him, right until the very end.

A/N: I've know for a loooooong time that I wanted Freddie to be gay-no homophobe hate, please. I don't know when I thought it up, I just did and I liked it. So there.

Question: What do you think of the twins, and Freddie being gay? Also, more one-shots?

Rose<3