Leap of Faith

Chapter 3 - Pantora

Author's Note: Fluff and bonding and hurt/comfort, but not necessarily in that order. Also, Crosshair begins to wonder how his brothers deal with such a hyperactive child. Lol.

~ Amina Gila

The feelings twisting inside of him are... unfamiliar, to say the least. Crosshair was protective of his squad, of course, because all they had was each other. Even if he was technically the youngest, they still took care of each other. This is... different. This is very different somehow. Maybe it's because he's never had to care for someone who is so... helpless, someone who is very dependent on him for protection.

Omega is a child. And she definitely does not belong with him, which is why it's a good thing he'll be taking her back to where she belongs, no matter how much it rankles. Being around her is easy, though. She makes it easy, and he feels none of the resentment and anger around her that he feels around his once brothers.

But what unsettles him is the sheer strength of the protectiveness he feels for her. Maybe the rest of his once squad can protect her better than he ever could, since he is only one person, but he doesn't much fancy the thought of leaving her with them, when they've already lost her once. Or more than once, he doesn't know. If the Empire got her from them once, they could do it again. And this time, Crosshair won't be there to get her out.

He can't stay, but he isn't comfortable with leaving either.

Staying, he thinks, would be even worse than the perpetual gnawing worry for her that he already knows he'll feel when he leaves. He doesn't think he could bear it, being on the Marauder, surrounded by people who were once his family before they left him behind, people who don't even trust him. The kid trusts him, somehow, but... they don't. And he refuses to live like that, knowing that he isn't trusted or even wanted. It's easier to be alone.

Omega is quiet at his side, far more subdued than she was earlier, and she's sticking close, holding his hand tightly. He's always tended to shun physical contact, but this is different, somehow. Holding onto her reminds him that she's alright, after what happened. Anger rises at the memory, and he shoves it back. The men are dead, and the kid is safe. That's what matters.

The starship is waiting for them, and once they're settled into a cabin, the pilot leaves. Crosshair obtained enough credits to pay him well enough to leave them alone and not ask any questions. Hopefully, this will thoroughly lose any Imperials who have been following them.

"Where are we going?" the kid asks as they sit in the cabin, eating rations.

"Pantora," he answers. "We'll be fine if we keep our heads down." But still, he doesn't miss the flicker in her eyes. "What?" His instincts are making him gentler around her, less harsh. It's yet another thing that's unsettling him. A memory flashes through his mind, a mere fragment, but it still... bothers him, and he's not sure why.

"Crosshair has always been severe and unyielding. It is his nature. You cannot change that. He cannot change that."

Maybe it's just a reminder of everything that happened, of how they – none of them – trusted him, no matter how many times he tried to prove it. No matter how much time has passed, the shadows of grief, of pain, of betrayal still linger.

"We went to Pantora once," the kid answers quietly, and Crosshair feels something like jealousy or resentment twist inside him. Omega, he knows, is not his replacement. She wouldn't want to replace him, but that doesn't mean a part of him doesn't still feel as though his once brothers don't think so. He wrangles those thoughts back under control because the last thing he wants to do is hurt the kid, no matter how desperately he wants to lash out at – at someone.