A Letter To J. Brian

Dearest J. Brian

Dearest J. Brian,

                                When I first saw you it was like having a butterfly in my stomach I didn't understand why, then I found out I like you. There is nothing more comfortable to see than the smiles on your face, what a pleasing view to watch even for a moment. I often see you in front of the road and every step you take is like a lumbering pace. Two or five of your confrère go home with you, but every time I glance at you, I didn't realize your confrère anymore; you become only one in my contemplation because you are the only one I see. 

                               I don't even have the courage to talk to you and get to know you because I'm diffident; I'm concerned that you might ignore me or abhor me. I'm sorry I don't have the courage to approach you. So what I did was look at you from afar but not in a creep up on way. After I found out that my confrère became your girlfriend, I tried to stop liking you; I thought it was easy but it wasn't. After class, my confrère quickly took me to see you in the other classroom because she wanted to see you and was very eager to go home with you; I didn't refuse to come because she actually draws me out. 

                             We waited lengthy for you in the Canteen because you were still attending to something in your classroom; it was also worth it because she saw you after that long wait. At that time, I never thought I would see you up close because I was so nervous I couldn't speak; it was very fiddly I don't know why; So, I was behind you while you two were talking. When the one to pick us up arrived, my confrère got on first and I was at last; I turned around when the conveyance started then I saw you walking home. 

                             I ponder while riding the conveyance whether I should stop liking you or not, but I'm having a rough patch to decide because I thought it wasn't hard. That's why I decided to continue to like you even though you're with someone else. I thought it was easy to abolish my fondness for you, that's all I know. So, even though you and my confrère are still in together; I still gaze at you from afar to see how much I like you. A year passed, we were rehearsing our graduation song when I suddenly saw you passing by the side of our classroom with your confrère, and I turned around and ponder that you are also graduating this year. 

                            I was a bit concerned that I won't see you again; you will go to the city and go to college there. After our rehearsal, I quickly opened my social platform I almost omit you were one of my confrère on social platform so I begin to track you down and I saw something that caught my attention and share my state on your post and that's where you started to respond; I ponder you wouldn't because you don't know me.

                          I'm beaming with joy that you responded to my state, that's when our confab started until you messaged me privately and happily asked me if I could converse a foreign word and I happily said "Certainly" we talked a lot and that was one of the happiest days that happened to me. You said "au revoir" (bye) to me because you have task to do, I wonder if we can talk again.

                              And indeed, we talked once more; and it feels amazing to talk to you again. Days passed, I discern my confrère, your other half; but with another man. I approached and asked her who she was with, she said to me "My Beloved" I was surprised when she told me, I was not aware that you had been separated for a long time. I have no news because I no longer come along with my confrère before then, even though that she invited me to come.

                             My apprehension you wouldn't split up with my confrère because to hark back to; the two of you talked about the contentment of being at the same moment while I was behind you. But I was astonished by my confrère's les actualités (News).

                             When I apprehended that you and Alessio wind up, I was no longer frantic that I would distress someone just because I loved you; and now I can, I will never hesitate to say that I love you. 

                              The following day, I discern you at the cafeteria with your confrère Jamie. I was also there to buy something to nosh. Then suddenly one of the tutee thrust me. When I looked back, you were the one who I leaned on. I quickly asked "Je suis désolé"  (I'm Sorry) and quickly scoot because I was unsettled but also delighted somehow, it was my first time to stare at you up close; my face completely turned into red.

                              One night, we were talking about foreign languages ​​and I was fortunate to answer your questions. After a while we became so close to each other that I started calling you my clone because we have a lot in common. The next day, I lent you my "Manga" (Japanese Comic Book) and included in the letter for you to read as my dearest sincere for you.

                             I putted in the letter inside the mangas that you can glance through and prepared. I went with my confrère to your classroom and I'm highly strung because it's the first time I'm going to talk to you literally so, I've prepared myself to discern you and then when you spotted me downstairs well, I didn't go upstairs so I just waited for you to come down because your classroom was on the ensuing tier so, when you came down, my heart suddenly throb fast as if it was going to come out of my chest and when you were standing anterior of me, I feel like I can't confabulate my word;, my face is turning red and blistering, like I'm going to burst with bliss and excitement.

                            My mind is bewildered for the reason that I don't know what I'm going to say to you; out of nowhere I told you a very fiddly word "Look after my mangas or else I will definitely burn you!" Oh my word, I was really feeble-minded to say something like that, I will never forget that 1 hour uneasiness.

                           I had on mind that maybe I've being so eccentric to you or maybe you are a bit startled to me or maybe scared; but you didn't, you just chuckled and smiled at me, then you said "Yes don't worry I will definitely take care of these mangas of yours" and he nodded and thanked me; I was smiling when I turned my back.