Nightlights: Guardians of the Edge

10.7: Seeds of Crystal

Everything was as clear as crystal: sharp-edged and slightly fractured. Natalie knew she wasn't whole, but she was close. She couldn't go back, but if she gathered up all the pieces, she could go forward.

She squeezed Ajax's hand as Hatherly came around the corner, his two cambions trailing him. "Can you distract Surge? And maybe the other one? I need to talk to Hatherly."

"Just talk?" He flexed his scarred fist.

"Well, I'm not going to kiss him," she said, and she thought her voice was very carefully controlled.

He squeezed her hand back. "I'll keep them away from you." Then, slipping away from her, he called, "What did you do with Seth?" as he accelerated away.

Hatherly flicked a hand dismissively and Surge paused, fixing his leonine gaze on Ajax.

Seth, thought Natalie with a pang. She'd felt the despair engine flick on, then off, followed by the low thrum of Gate's absolute focus field. And Hatherly looked annoyed, as only Seth could make somebody. Seth was tough. He'd hang on. She didn't dare think he wouldn't.

"I see you're feeling better," called Hatherly. The ugly expression of annoyance was replaced by the pleasant, benevolent expression she'd come to hate. "You'd gone too far for a while, but young Ajax helped you recover your balance. I knew he had potential."

"I've regained more than my balance." She moved toward him, stopping at the curb.

His smile flickered. "Ah, I always felt that way when returning to myself after a deeper journey into the chaos." His head twitched. "I wish I could see the shore again. But come here, girl, and we can fix this wretched world."

"No," Natalie said calmly. "We can't. Not that way."

Hatherly frowned. "You're being irresponsible. It's the only chance we have. Otherwise we'll just trudge on through our own muck until we finally slip into oblivion."

Natalie caught her breath. Then she shook her head. "It's not a chance. It's how we come to oblivion. Giving up on each other."

Beyond Hatherly, Surge moved to protect him from Ajax. It was a feint, and Ajax danced away from Surge's paw, luring the cambion after him. But Gate remained, watching Natalie with heavy-lidded eyes.

"If that's true, then what does it matter? It's hastening the end of a timespan that is only measurable to those who remember it, and there will be nobody left to do so. And the end is inevitable, if we don't do this. Where are the Antecessors now? Look at us, playing in the shadows cast by the light of a dead star and thinking there's more. There's nothing to hang on to unless we can finally reach beyond."

It was all so sharp and clear and sad. Natalie said, "Not we, though. I. And I don't want to do it without a 'we'. Humanity is more than one person, Hatherly. You can't burn everybody to thrust one person beyond. You must know that on some level. You said it yourself: you haven't seen the shore for a long time. You know something's wrong."

"That doesn't matter! I have goals, I have methods and tools. I have a system." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Even if I'm not what I was, the legacy I left myself still guides me."

"Your legacy has become corrupted," she said, as gently as she could. A small part of her wished he could be restored. He'd turned parts of himself into amazing things, into beautiful, sensitive things. And he'd turned other parts of himself into true monsters.

He'd turned Malachi into a monster, and Aya. He'd found Tainter and used him like a scalpel. He couldn't see the difference anymore between monsters and everything else.