Toxicus Potentia

Chapter One

Chapter One

Sasha panted heavily, sweat dripping from her brows and into her eyes. Her chest felt like it was going to burst open. Like something was clawing away at her insides. Chipping away at her soul, begging her to just give herself over. Each breath was torturous. Her lungs- oh Paracelsus- her lungs! The witch and wizard traded blows, light exploding from the tips of their wands in riots of color. It didn't help. With a scream of rage, Sasha threw her wand to the ground where it rolled several feet away, still sparking yellow and blue.

     Professor Adam Rowan gripped her shoulders hard and pulled her trembling form into his arms and sank to the ground with her in his lap. He crushed her into himself and the dark amber of his cologne saturated her senses. Humming a familiar tune in his deep reassuring baritone, the vibration ran through her and distracted her from her thoughts. His fingers combed through her matted ebony ringlets. Slowly, like a weight being lifted off her chest the pressure in her lungs began to subside but the gnawing ache persisted.

     "Release it," he whispered, his breath fell soft against her skin.

     Sasha buried her face in his shoulder and shook her head vigorously. He tightened his grip on her, his hand stilling in her curls.

     "You must, Sasha…" he pulled away, cold blue eyes cutting through her to the bone, "give it to me."

      "I CAN'T!" She cried, tears burning hot trails down her sickly pale cheeks. Her whole body hurt. The writhing was unbearable. Her whole body shook like it was trying to rattle apart.

     The power burned throughout every nerve ending from the top of her head to the soles of her feet. It made dark spots dance around the edges of her vision. It was unrelenting in its assault. Waging a war inside of her that only she could understand. Dark thoughts cluttered her mind, the way spiderwebs cling to the ceiling and walls of a forgotten attic. Thick layers of dust on every box that she was too afraid to unpack. 

    "You can, Sasha. Just like before. You have to let it come out..." he tucked a limp strand of hair behind her ear, that stare burned inside her, demanding. Imploring. 

     She wanted to weep at the relief that he offered.

    "What if I hurt you?" Her hands trembled and she moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue, dry and cracked from screaming.

    Professor Rowan gazed down at her, his eyes were always so unreadable but the left side of his mouth jerked up in a half smile.  

     "I'll be fine-"

     

     "But what if you're not? What if I hurt you like last time?" Sasha jerked away, rising to her feet. Hazel eyes wide and unblinking, the image of Professor Rowan so still and quiet with blood oozing from his ears, mouth and nose permanently ingrained into her mind. Bile rose in the back of her throat at the thought. 

      "You won't. Besides that… we don't have much choice. If you let your magic keep building inside of you like this it will tear you apart. You're becoming unstable again." His voice was calm. Matter-of-fact even… and she almost hated him for it. Talking about this so casually as if it was normal. Like she was normal. 

     "I try not to," she gripped her head and sank to her knees, "it just keeps building up faster than I can let go."

     "I know," he approached her wearily, hands open wide by his side as though if he moved too fast she would spook like a frightened deer and run.

     "This fucking disease!" She shrieked, slamming both fists over and over into the ground. The impact stung. Reverberating through her bones and stirring up the angry thing inside of her. The sound of birds suddenly deafening and the cloying scent of pine choking. This clearing was their spot. It was where they always did the drainings… far away from the castle just in case.