Disclaimer: The author of this work does not condone/endorse the messages, themes, and concepts presented by South Park. Considering how said work is melodramatic gay fanfiction written in child storybook form of all things, I'm sure this seems reasonable to assume. However, it's astonishing how many times I've stumbled upon people in this fandom who are wholehearted believers of almost everything the show says, and, quite frankly, I would rather evaporate from this plane of existence than potentially be presumed as a bigot or, god forbid, a centrist.
Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!
Once upon a time, the most beautiful maiden in all the land was digging some sort of rabid...thing out from her neighbor's molting, sweating garden.
(It is unclear if the aforementioned sweat originally bared shelter within the cracking walls of the weed's pores, or the thing's)
Her maidenhood was made known to the village (quite loudly, I might add) by the shimmer of her great beauty ("shimmer" as meant in the literal sense, that is. A local schoolboy was quoted in The Daily Parchment as having been blinded by "the freshly sharpened string of pearls woven into the valleys of her gums). For if it were not for the shine of her coat, none would dare find themselves looking past its complete attachment to her "person". And though even the daftest of the townsfolk could see that such animalistic eloquence and stature could only come to be through the curse of a witch (or a second gift from god, perhaps, to keep her from the wiles and whims of the men and boys she walked home), the fruit she bore, fuzzy and already split open for a few hours at this point, blood and juices running from him, down his thigh, seeping into her mane and sticking to his steps and sewing the seems of botanical stems together, blades of grass cutting through the stream, guiding it along the lining of the stone path-
And through even that!
He was but a fond footnote in the neat folds of her memory, as her rich company always claims, and she was but the catalyst of his everything and everyone and himself, making for a fair more enchanting tale.
But since it is only fair (and because he would inevitably get his way in the matter anyway), we instead present The Life and Lies of That Thing over there, shivering in the corner, shaking the bushes.
We hope you enjoy.
Btw I made a playlist for this fic! You can find it here if you're interested: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2v5GoNGNikjsU3on4N1i6N?si=i8_UcIfmR9urlDwNRtk-EQ
YOU ARE READING
honey, don't feed it, it will come back
Fanfiction"The Life and Lies of That Thing over there, shivering in the corner, shaking the bushes." (Written by someone sick in the head, and maybe the funnybone)
