famously unfamous | jaron artolius eckbert iii

Fifteen

"Where are you going?" Mott asked as we began walking away. He was never far behind.

"To my room. My back hurts," Sage said

"I'm going to bed," I said flatly.

"How will it look to everyone at dinner if the servant who left with Amarinda fails to return?" Mott sighed.

"How will it look if that servant's bandages bleed through and he drips blood on Conner's dining table?" Sage returned.

"Come on," Mott said with a sigh. "I'll walk you to your rooms."

"You don't have to. I know the way."

"Saving you from getting lost is not the reason I'm here. Tell me, what did you think of the betrothed princess?"

"I think she loves Darius," I mumbled. "And I think she loves me."

"There's plenty of time for her to learn to love Jaron," Mott said. "Besides, this is the way of life for royals. They do their duty to their country, and if they are very lucky, it will sometimes bring them happiness."

"I don't want anyone to do their duty for me," Sage grumbled.

"A charade like that is not for her," I agreed.

"Conner is preparing you to wear masks for the rest of your lives," Mott said. "It's better that your queen pretends to love you, because if she truly did, she would only love a lie."

That hardly made me feel better.

Errol was sitting on the bench just outside Sage's bedroom door. He stood as he saw us coming. "Are you ill?" he asked Sage.

"Get me some dinner," Sage growled, pushing past him to enter the room. "And no, I don't need help dressing."

I snickered as Mott led me away to my own room.

He sighed as I started into my room. I turned back around.

"Yes?"

"Cleo is in the kitchens right now, so you'll have to dress yourself."

I rolled my eyes. "I can definitely do that, Mott. I'll be fine."

He frowned but nodded, leaving down the hallway. I turned in a slow circle after I closed the door, sighing. I suffered myself through unlacing my bodice and pulling off all my skirts. I sighed as I fell onto my bed, wearing only my shift and undergarments. I sat up again to change into my nightdress. I rubbed my forehead I thought of the responsibility now resting on my shoulders.

I would have to be Conner's daughter and his only heir. I wouldn't be able to be myself. I would have to have even more awful dinner parties and I'd have servants waiting at my hand and foot. I would have to betray the two boys that Conner did not choose. And that thought was trying to destroy me. I could feel it gnawing at my heart angrily.

I picked up a pillow and flung it at the wall opposite me. I dropped my head into my hands and cried. I couldn't remember the last time I had truly cried. Sobbed.

And I fell asleep like that.

~✨~

Amarinda left with her entourage early the next morning and our tutoring schedule resumed. Roden's reading wasn't fluent, but he was amazing, considering how recently he'd begun learning. I thought he would be good enough to get by if Conner chose him as prince.

Mott pulled me out of Mistress Havala's class to work on sword fighting with him, even though I insisted I couldn't fight with my back in bandages.

"If we wait for a full healing, it'll be too late," he said. "We'll both use wooden swords today." He took one for himself and tossed me the other. I jumped away from it and it landed in the dirt.