ghost of tsushima parody

Defeating the Khan

While Jin is taken to his little jail cell, we got to the same fox who was so excited to have been petted by Jin who was surrounded by his fox friends.

"For inari Sake, take a bath!" one of his friend said.

"No! Jin petted me! I will never wash this fur again!"

"He pets all of us! You're not special! Go and bathe for once! When did you even last bathe?"

"... no idea."

One of the fox screamed, "Mongol dogs! Run! Dogs coming!"

The foxes all ran and the fox who hadn't bathe was running as well, "where! Where are they?!"

"Run!" one said.

And they all jumped into the lake. As they came up for air, the fox asked, "Where, where were they? Did you see them?" then he noticed them all staring at him, smirking.

"Oh you son of a ..."

"Nobody knows, the troubles that I've seen. Nobody knows, my sorrows." Jin sang.

Kenji showed up, "oh wonderful guard, have some sake to celebrate the victory of reclaiming the castle."

"No, I cannot drink, I was told to guard Jin." He said.

"He's not going anywhere, besides, I already poured some sake for you."

"Fine." He said, then he took a gulp and then passed out. Jin jumped up, "What did you do?"

"Shh! Relax, just a sleeping drug. He'll be ok. Go, you must flee! Go to Yuna!" Kenji said.

He jumped out the window and climbed up the wires across the castle grounds.

"How convenient that the wire extended to the horse stables to where my horse is. Very convenient." He said and got to his horse. They rode out, getting shot at by the soldiers.

After traveling a while, the horse fell over dead.

"My poor horse. You were so brave and so wonderful." Then he noticed a cowboy who is mourning over his horse.

"My horse was very brave as well." He said. He is Arthur Morgan.

"Are we seriously competing whose horse death was more tragic?" Jin asked.

"don't know. But at least I don't go jumping over cliffs with my horse wherever I go." Arthur said.

"he's practically tougher where yours die easily. At least I don't go trading one horse for another like they're just means to an end."

"Touche,"

Of course, that didn't happen in the game, but whatever. So, Jīn had to walk on foot to where the Mongols have been patrolling. He snuck through and found that the people were poisoned, used by the same poison he used, "oh damn it, they copied me." And he got shot at.

"Oh, gods damn it." He fled but collapsed.

When he woke up, Yuna was there.

"Good then I was there.... Again. Anyway, sorry about your horse."

Ishikawa, "Tomie is planning evil stuff. You must find her."

And he left to look for her, which begs the question how. Anyhow, he found the woman who called herself, Matsu.

Jin, "Hey miss, you need help?"

Matsu, "Umm... sure. I'm totally not Tomie."

Jin, "You're Tomie."

Tomie, "Yes. You're mistaken about my motives to what you and Sensei thought of me. Come sleep with me."

Jin, "No."