The Epilogue - Katniss and Peeta

Promises and Cliffs.

*Katniss's POV*

I wake up suddenly to find myself in Peeta's arms. I can't remember my nightmares, which is unusual. I look over towards him. He's still asleep, so I just stay there on his chest, embracing his warmth. I remember what he said about Gale; about how he might've made a mistake. I can't help but feel indifferent towards his views of Gale. Peeta knows what he did, yet he still was able to create an illusion of kindness. Then again, he's able to see the good in everyone.

"Morning," he says suddenly. I sit up to look at him and he laughs at me.
"What's so funny?" I ask confused.
"Nothing." He says smiling. I narrow my eyes slightly and lie back down on his chest. I probably just woke him up, again. I always feel bad if I wake him up in the morning, because I wake him up enough during the night.

"I have to visit the bakery today—to finalize the purchase." He says, playing with my hair. I sigh and nod at him, but he gives me a look. "What's the matter, darling?" He asks softly.
"I just don't want to be alone." I breathe.
"Visit Haymitch while I'm gone." He suggests. "I'm sure he'd like to see the kids too." I shrug and pick at my nails while we lie there. "Why don't you try talking to someone?"
"I talk to you plenty." I huff. I don't need anyone else. I have all that I need, sort of.
"No, Katniss. I mean like talking to someone besides me. Like a therapist." I roll my eyes and resume picking at my nails.
"I'll pass." I say.

Although I've never thought about it, I already know it's a bad idea. The whole idea of telling someone about things I'm struggling with isn't very ideal for me.

I hear him sigh and start to get up. He leaves me alone in the room and I flop back down on my back. I cover my face with my hands and think about my life these past days. I have Peeta, whose practically begging for me just to stay alive, I have cheating allegations going around about me, and I haven't been out of the victors village in a long time.

After wallowing in my self-pity, I get up and head downstairs. I find it quiet—seeing no signs of Peeta; he must've left. I walk into the kitchen to grab a glass of water and I hear someone walking down the stairs.

"Morning." I whisper. She smiles and sits at the table.
"Where's Dad?" She asks.
"He had to run an errand but I had the idea we could go to Uncle Haymitch's." I suggest. She nods in excitement and goes running out of the room—to which I assume she's going to wake up Rye. I laugh silently and I continue to clean up the kitchen whilst listening to them fumble around upstairs. As I clear off the island, I remember the Christmas I got engaged, and how we baked cheese buns in here. I remember how happy I was.

I wish I was that happy now; maybe I'd be able to be a better mother. Although, anyone who tries can be better than me. I wonder what life would be like if Prim hadn't of been chosen. I know I wouldn't have kids, and the possibility of being with Peeta would've been highly unlikely. But Prim still would've been alive; maybe my mother as well. But I never would've met all of the people that have had an impact on my life. I wouldn't have Haymitch. Neither would I have met Cinna or Finnick. And everyone else would still be stuck in the control of the capital.

Would I do it again if I had the opportunity? All of the losses, for this outcome?

I drag myself out of the wonder and back into reality—my reality of wishing I was dead.

I finish cleaning and walk up the stairs to find Willow and Rye getting dressed. I laugh and turn into my own bedroom to get ready. I throw on some comfortable clothes and throw my hair in a braid down my back. I stare in the mirror looking at my reflection. My cheekbones are much more noticeable and my body is thin, but I guess that's what happens when you don't take care of yourself.