We Were Born Sick • Gotham Fanfiction •

XVIII: Hole in the Head

"Pain is real when you get other people to believe in it. If no one believes in it but you, your pain is madness or hysteria." - Naomi Wolf

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Bird's eyes squinted in the sunlight as she started to wake up facing the window side of her bedroom. With a pained groan she flopped over on her stomach and faced away from the nearly blinding mid-afternoon sunbeams.

There was a brief almost blissful moment where the day felt like just any other, but it was short lived when she opened her eyes again and they focused on her bandaged wrist laying on the pillow next to her face and memories of the hell she'd gone through seeped back into her drowsy mind.

Her head felt like someone had used a jackhammer on her temples for the better part of the night and her arms and wrists were still painfully sore from the ropes she'd been bound with. She wanted nothing more than to just go back to sleep and wake up a few days later when she wouldn't be hurting as bad mentally and physically.

Managing to get herself sat up on the side of her bed, she opened the drawer on her nightstand and retrieved a bottle of prescription pain pills. Popping a few of them in her mouth, she chased them down the entire contents of a glass of water that had been sitting next to her bed for God knows how long.

The more she thought about it, the more the appeal sleeping through the next few days seemed to have. It wouldn't be the first time she'd slept through multiple consecutive days, but now wasn't the time to start that again.

Tomorrow she'd have to go see Fish and tell her that Oswald was still alive and in the days following she'd be spending as much time as possible around her boss to ensure her friend's safety –plus do what she could to help keep Jim alive during that time. Change was coming, she could feel it in her bones, like the deep rumble of thunder in the distance before a huge storm.

Then there was Harvey Dent, who'd refused to leave her side the day before after she declined Alfred's and her brother's offer to stay the night at Wayne Manor where she wouldn't be alone after what she'd gone through. It was nice of them, but all she wanted to do was get back to her own apartment –Wayne Manor had never quite felt like home to her.

With that thought, she looked behind her to the otherwise empty bed and started to wonder where Harvey had gone, the last thing she remembered was buzzing all around her living room trying to rearrange her belongings that had gotten moved in either the struggle with The Goat, or the police search afterwards and Harvey trying to get her to take a break and calm down.

The polite thing to do would be to call him and thank him for putting up with her, even when he saw her at one of her low points where she probably appeared slightly crazed –being in a serious relationship was something new to her and she couldn't help but feel like he got a glimpse behind the curtain before he was attached enough to her that it wouldn't scare him away.

So much needed to be done when the only thing she felt like doing was retreating within in her own head for at least a week.

Quickly locating her cellphone on her bedside table, she stared at the false name she had Oswald's number stored under and against her better judgement and their agreeing to stay away from one another –she called him. It only rang about three times before it went to voicemail, making it clear he'd ignored her call.

Maybe he was at work with Maroni and couldn't take her call, or possibly even a meeting with Falcone. She hoped that was the case, that he was in the middle of doing something important and not just simply ignoring her.

For years it had just been the two of them, and they'd probably spent time together almost every single day -especially since she'd moved out on her own. She could see how her relationship with Harvey, might be hard for her best friend to handle. With the way Oswald's mother doted on him it was clear to see he was the sole center of her entire world and most days it seemed like he expected that same level of attention from Bird.