Extraterrestrial Love

All But Average Alien Abduction

Note: everything within these symbols •• is in an alien language.

Example, •this is all in an alien language•. It cannot be understood by humans unless they are taught it, of course.

Now let the story begin.

•I have to help my incompetent co-pilot start the engines so I'll be right back.• A green creature standing around 5 feet, with giant, glossy black eyes and dressed in a skin tight, navy blue suit with a red collar, says with a very blunt annoyed tone. He slams his 3 fingered hand down on the chrome table in front of him •And don't touch anything while I'm gone!• He gurgles angrily to a nearly 8 foot, gray, fuzzy creature dressed similarly at the other side of the table. The creature also sports horns, a whip-like tail with a tufted tip, and bright cyan irises along with many other animal-like features.

The gray one nods with his hands awkwardly crossed behind his back. All the while his eyes fixed on the half naked, unconscious human man hooked up to all kinds of wires and a face mask feeding him a steady stream of anesthetic gas, laying on the chrome table in front of them. •Understood, captain•. He says in a voice that sounds like two voices talking in unison, one smooth and almost that of a human male, and one more alien; animalistic and rough.

The supposed captain furrows his eyebrows in contemplation. Deciding whether or not to just bring the trouble maker along, and not take any more chances of him messing up. Their human subject twitches a finger and the captain quickly fixes the anesthetic levels. •It's not staying down.• he sighs •stay here, make sure it's levels are adjusted if it still doesn't stay down.•

The gray nods once more. •Understood, captain.•

Minutes later once the captain is out of the pure white, nearly empty room aside from alien medical devices, the gray begins his planned mischief once more, starting with carefully unplugging each electrode from the human's body.

Meanwhile in the spaceship's cockpit...

•If that child causes one more problem he is off the ship!• The captain yells to one of his peers in a warbled, angered voice.

•Won't the matriarch be mad about that?• the other asks with a bit of nervous sweat as he watches his captain angrily fix the ship's cockpit.

•I don't care if she is! We could wipe their species out if we chose to!• He slam his finger into a red button and it glows, signaling the ship is ready for take off •Did you see their tribe? They wear nothing and they hunt and gather like some uncivilized beasts!•

The lower ranking alien whips her head towards him •Wait, captain, are you not aware that they may have more advanced technology than even us?•

The captain lets out a sigh everyone recognizes is a sign that he's about to snap •Am I on a ship with a bunch of humans?! Why is everyone here's so—• his outburst is cut short by something that'll make it even worse. It's their human test subject screaming bloody murder.

As a crew of the little green aliens sprint towards the testing room, the gray is talking what seems like nonsense to the human •Please! Just—calm down! Im-getting us—• he's cut off when the humans leg gets free from it restraints and lands a blow into his groin. It only phases him for a second before he's back at trying to get the human to be calm. •Alright! This plan worked too well—• he talks to himself as he pins the human down, still being as gentle as possible. He grunts as he comes up with a word in English that he actually knows, and that might just calm the man "c...calm" the more animalistic voice makes noises like grumbles, purrs, and high pitched as the word forms.

The human pauses his struggle just long enough to process what the massive alien pinning him down just spoke... "WHAT IN THE FUCK—GET TH'HELL OFF ME YA GOTDAMN CRACK DEMON!" His southern accent is thick as his voice booms through the room and into the corridors of the ship.

The gray's pointed, animal-like ears fold back, shielding them from the noise just as a crew of 3 green aliens burst into the room, armed with unique guns for each.

•ENOUGH!• The captain shouts, which intimidates only others of his species, being that their voices are naturally high pitched and silly sounding to most other species.

What he does next though makes up for his lack of intimidating the other two species in the room. He shoots the gray with a weapon that traps him in a stasis chamber-like bubble and hovers him in the air while another one of his crew mates shoots the human with something else that immediately knocks him out. The third crew mate shoots, but unbeknownst to everyone there, the amnestic that was meant to make the human forget everything, fails to release on impact. None of the chemical leaves the pill sized vial. No memories are lost.

Unable to even move his mouth, the gray can only grumble in defense as he’s carried to the ship’s front hatch. •See! He even sounds like one of those earth animals!• the captain mocks while his crew look on in worry •Hey, maybe you’ll be able to trick them into thinking you’re just an animal! Until your weird little instinct takes over that is.• his tone becomes sinister, his mocking becoming much more obvious and harsh •Then you’ll wander into the city, desperate for anyone to have you, and then you’ll get caught by the only human force that means anything to us. And then you’ll be taken to area 51 and you’ll never be heard from again.• a sick grin grows on his face, all while his crew has the opposite.

•But, captain, what if, in some way, in some nearly impossible way, he gets back to his home planet and his tribe finds out about all of this? And what if, in some 1% chance scenario! That the rumors of them having the most advanced tech in the universe are true and they declare war on us?• His co-captain speaks up.

The captain groans raspily and whips his body towards his crew •Alright, since neither of you will shut up about this, I’ll entertain your delusions. Let's say all that happens. Well guess what? We have conquered entire solar systems! We have conquered most of the known universe! They will all fight with us at our leader’s command. And this ridiculous species will be erased or if they are smart, they will surrender and be under our control. There! Are you both happy now? Have your delusions subsided?• Without waiting for an answer the captain opens the hatch and chucks the gray out into the clearing. The stasis chamber bursts on impact and the gray is left laying and discombobulated in the singed grass. The hatch promptly shuts behind him before he even gets his bearings.

As he sees all of the lights flicker on and hears the purring of the light speed engines power up, he runs faster than a cheetah into the woods and out of the zone he knows will be leveled by the ships take off. Oh, and he’s also carrying the human over his shoulder, all the while that human is quickly coming-to.