Fading

Chapter 4 - Tatooine

Author's Note: Enjooooy the angst! Warnings are at the end. :)

~ Amina Gila

When Qui-Gon first told Obi-Wan of the time-travel, somehow, he thought he wouldn't end up right back here where he started on Tatooine. He should have expected it, though. He's only one person, and there's only so much he can do – especially given the very short time frame that he had to work with.

He saved many more of the Jedi – he doesn't know how many, but a lot got out, and that's one thing. But he still feels...

Empty. Dead.

He wanted to save Anakin. He wanted to help the Order too, but maybe it's selfish that what he wanted most was to save Anakin. He just wants his padawan (his brother, his child) back, and now, he knows he never will again.

The time-travel was a onetime thing, not something that will ever be repeated. The fact that he's in the past hardly feels real at times, as is.

Obi-Wan thought he didn't let himself get his hopes up about it, but he can't deny feeling a smothering... Disappointment is far too weak a word for it. He wanted to change this most of all, and he failed.

Again.

Vader hadn't gotten far in his massacre at the Temple – he'd just gotten started, really – but... He would have finished it if Obi-Wan hadn't planned to deal with him.

And he can never understand how Anakin could do that. He wishes he could believe that there was more of Anakin in him than he thought, but... He'd hoped that for Vader too, that last time they'd fought, and when he'd seen his face against for the first time in a decade.

Obi-Wan stands next to Vader's motionless form, for a moment, just watching him. Standing here next to him hurts. It hurts having Anakin so near, yet still unreachably far.

Even if Anakin was more there than he thought, it wouldn't change what he's already done. It wouldn't change that Obi-Wan saw him killing Jedi, this time in person. (They were trying to kill him first.) He didn't go nearly as far as he did the last time around, but Obi-Wan doesn't know if that's really changed anything. Not truly. It would hurt too much to let himself hope, only to realize that his padawan was already truly lost forever.

He tears his gaze away from Vader, throwing a glance around the all too familiar cave. He picked the same one he stayed in before – why wouldn't he, after all? There's nowhere else they can stay.

The cave reminds him so much of the past ten years he spent here in another time, and before, he wanted to just be away from it, so he could try to let go of all those years he spent mourning Anakin, believing it had been him who he killed that day. But that didn't happen here, and the cave doesn't feel of all those years, since they just came here. It's the best place they can stay right now, in any case.

It's hardly a secure place to keep Vader confined, but there's only one entrance, so to escape, Vader will have to go past Obi-Wan, and he's a little too injured to be going far right now. He took off the Force restraints because leaving them on any Force sensitive very long is never good. Their lightsabers are buried together again, somewhere out in the desert, though, so that won't be a problem.

It's going to be awkward, sharing the same small living space with a Sith. Really, though, is he a Sith? He feels dark, but not in a dark way. It's not of the Dark Side, really. It isn't like it was with Vader in Obi-Wan's time. (Somehow, the cave still feels less empty and lonely, even if it's very undesirable company.)

The sight of the Sith in the corner keeps catching all of his attention, though, and finally he moves a little closer.

Vader doesn't look very good right now. His face is slightly flushed, a serious indication that he has a fever. (It reminds him so much of those times during the war, when he had to take care of an injured Anakin, who spent half the time trying to pretend that he was fine.)