An Innocent Affair

XXXI

"It was never about saying the words to her, it was about watching her react once I had said them." Dean Mackin

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XXXI.

Belle's shop was always a place to be seen in London as it was the most fashionable place to procure the latest couture. Cressie, thus, was not at all surprised that it was quite busy as she and Zara passed through the doors the following day at two o'clock in the afternoon.

That fact only made Cressie more frightened. She was already in pieces. Internally, of course. She had become an expect as masking her anguish outwardly. Inside these walls were so many eyes and so many opinions belonging to hideous gossips.

They had been inside for all of nine seconds and they had already been seen and spoken off by a half a dozen mothers and daughters.

'Look who it is. Zara Delaney.'

'I wonder what she is coming to collect. Is she to order a new gown already?'

'A wedding gown perhaps? Her trousseau?'

'Has she had a proposal already?'

Cressie heard the whispered questions, and she supposed she was thankful that all attention was focussed on Zara. She was also thankful that Zara seemingly enjoyed the attention.

"How silly they will all feel when they see we are only here to purchase ribbons," Zara mused to Cressie quietly.

Zara believed that she and Cressie were at Belle's to procure ribbons. By the way Cressie's heart was attacking the inside of her ribcage with how rapidly it was beating, one would have easily formed the opinion that ribbons were highly offensive and terrifying to Cressie. She could hardly concentrate on anything beyond her next few steps.

Cressie felt the need to look over her shoulder. She felt the need to look around the room and search the faces there. She felt the need to check her appearance and her dress for faults. She felt like she was being watched, as though someone knew what she was really there to do.

What was she there to do?

Jem had asked her to meet him. Cressie felt such conflicted anguish in her chest at what Jem wanted to know. He knew. Somehow, he knew. He could see it in her, see what others didn't, and he knew that something was wrong.

And Jem wanted to help her. He believed that he could help her. Cressie had looked into his divine, pure ocean eyes, and had seen the faith there. The faith that he held in his own ability to save her.

Jem did not understand that Cressie was beyond saving.

And yet she was here. Despite the fact Cressie had long abandoned all hope in ever escaping the prison in which she was held, and the husband she was shackled to, she was here.

What a foolish girl she was.

Belle descended upon Cressie and Zara almost immediately with a smile that anyone else would have interpreted as friendly as hospitable, but Cressie could see it was knowing. Of course, she knew.

"So lovely to see you both again so soon, Mrs Delaney, Miss Delaney," she greeted warmly in her accented English.

"And you as well, Miss Desjardins," replied Zara with enthusiasm. "I do have to tell you, I never received as many compliments in my life as I did when I wore your gown to the presentation ball. Thank you ever so much for your tireless work and your meticulous attention."

Belle's smile widened in its sincerity. "I am so pleased to hear it, though I must say that it is the lady who makes the gown, and not the other way around."