𝑷𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝑪𝒖𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒔

CHAPTER 23

"They say everything happens for a reason, but is that reason worth the pain? Is that reason worth the hurt? We will continue to let things happen because they happen for a reason until when ? At what cost does this reason come at?..."

Azade
Waking up was a task and a half!  It was as if I was hit by a train mntkbw! I was in pain especially on my lower abdomen, that's when it came to mind, I am pregnant or was pregnant because my stomach now was flat and flabby and there was no sign of life in there. Still deep in thought, Dr Zulu came in with a smile that was similar to the one I saw ku Gogo ka Nathi wtf is going on? Before I could say anything Dr Zulu beat me to it and said "Good morning Ms Nzimande it's nice that you are finally up, well I'm bearing good and bad news, which ones do you want to hear first?", before replying to him I signaled for the glass of water that was on the cupboard opposite the bed and in quick strides he came with the glass and in one gulp I drank all of the water, yey bengi thirsty no lies, looking at Dr Zulu I said "At this point doc knock yourself out, because wow! ", he looked at me with sadness and pity and said, "The good news is that your babies are healthy and tomorrow you can all go home, the bad news are that one of the triplets did not make it, we tried our all but it was too late, I am sorry for your loss... The hospital offers counseling for mothers who are going through what you are going through because we believe that a loss of a child is still a loss no matter how early or later it is in the pregnancy a loss is still a loss." Like a broken tape record the words spoken by Nathi's Grandma started echoing in my head...repeatedly so that I could not hear anything else that the doctor said it was like I was stuck in a trace as I could vividly see uGogo ka Nathi holding a baby in a blue blanket, my heart couldn't help but break into pieces, the pain that I was feeling was like no other. I mean if maybe I was not clouded by anger I would have been granted the chance to hold him, see him and say my first and final hello and goodbye, maybe the pain wouldn't be so immense....

Deep down I wanna take pride in the fact that my baby will now be iDlozi kufuphi neSithunywa but... that doesn't make anything hurt less and as much as she said that my baby was going to die along the way just adds to the pain...I mean what did I do to deserve all this pain and suffering? Was I wrong for falling in love? Was it a sin that I gave myself to another body and soul?

But they do say that in this life thing when you fall you gotta get up quick and fix yourself because this life thing doesn't stop just because you are going through a tough time, it continues that is why you gotta show up and play your part even if deep down you are shattered to the core because this life thing is like a wave it fluctuates so now I have no choice but to ride this wave with hopes, of not drowning or falling victim to the sharks that seem to surround Nathi and I...

Mhhm, nothing sounds weird than saying Nathi and I but for a while more like from now on its gonna be Nathi and I because now we are bound for ever by our babies...

A nurse pushing a wheelchair that had Nathi who in hand had a baby, shortly another nurse followed with another baby... At that same moment I couldn't help the tears that gathered in my eyes... It was as if something in me has shifted, for the first time I've realized how I've been unfair on Nathi by blaming him and distancing him in the hopes of saving my heart from the hurt not knowing that I'm hurting myself more by doing so...For the first time after a long while I had hope that we will be ok.

Nathi was wheeled forward with the baby while the nurse, with a said smile said, "Hey mamabear here are your babies this one is baby number one and she is a girl", as Nathi handed me the cutest baby I've ever seen, she was what they call her fathers daughter because all I could see was Nkosinathi Ndlovu... Kids are traitors yazi... As soon as I made baby one comfortable in my chest I ws handed baby number two and she was also a girl who also looked like her father... Hybo these kids decided that they will look like their father while I carried them for nine months whee!

Nathi
Looking at Azade breastfeed our babies brought some joy to my heart, it brought a sense of healing, a feeling of hope, hope that things will be just fine.

Before I was wheeled into this room I decided that I want to fix things between me and Azade, not for the babies but for the sake of piece...and I need to get my life in order as everything is falling apart and the only good thing I've got going on are these beautiful little girls... Looking at Azade and I found her looking at me... "sawubona Ma wenganezami" she chuckled and said "Sawubona Baba" I swear that did something to me down south whee!, clearing my throat aI said, "so what are we going to name them and I mean all of then not just these two?", for while Azade seemed to be in deep thoughts and then she said,"how about Inkosi Iphethina, no Iyana imvula ye ntsikelelo and Azosule inyembezi zelikhaya apho akhoyo?", "I love them!, so what now? What's the way forward from here Azade? Are we going to continue with this love and hate shandisi or are we going to try and fix everything so that our babies grow up in a home not a house like me?" she smiled and said "yep I think that's the plan Mr Ndlovu but first we gotta go of the grind and just regroup, restart and reset because a war is brewing, and I think you have the perfect place for that wena", "what do you mean by that ma wenganezami?", she smiled and said, "We are going to go on a drive a long one at that with your Ranger to that farm you bought 'secretly' in Cape Town" she must be crazy hayibo, "can't we just fly there I mean Ndlovu Corp has a jet", she looked at me as if I've grown two heads or something, and said "well we could if your brother was not pretending to be you while running your company to the ground" wtf!!, "how long has been this going on and how did you know?", she just said "A girl doesn't kiss and tell Mr Ndlovu", yhooo!, How could this happen right under my nose I mean yes for a while I did make some crapy choices but how did I let this happen and why did no one say anything to me I mean my twin and I have a slight difference or I'm that of a failure of a boss that my workers did not notice the change?, before I could wonder in thoughts of self pity and doubt Azade spoke and said, "I know this is not what you want to hear but I did tell you that everyone in your family will be your downfall but they do say blood is thicker than water, but there's no point in crying over spilt milk and I know that your downfall will be your beginning so don't take this as a loss but as a new start take this as an opportunity for you to build something of your own from the ground not a family business passed down from generation to generation, yes I know it won't be easy since you come from a long line of generational wealth and connections but I've got faith in you and I of course. " I just smiled because even though odds are against us this angel of mine has my back even when the world has turned its back on me she is still in my corner, how did I get this lucky?," Ngiyezwa ma wekhaya manje how do we go about this going off the radar shandis?", she smiled and started explaining the plan of traveling from Durban to Eastern Cape and from there to Cape Town, this was a long ass  drive, it was as if we are on the run but we are in other words. Quickly Azade and I began to put our plan into motion with her asking for Enkosi and Thuli to get her some things like the baby's clothes and hers and I also started making some calls trying to make sure that my personal investments are safe in what ever happens with Ndlovu Corp my money that I made on the side won't be affected, I even started drawing up a new will because you never know how far a person is willing to go to get what they want. Before we knew it, it was already evening and Dr Zulu came into our ward followed by Azade's dad and my dad ok this is weird. Dr Zulu spoke and said "Good evening Mr Ndlovu and Ms Nzimande, well I've come to inform you that tomorrow you can both go home with the kids, well that will be all." and shortly after that he lefy the room. My dad and Azade's dad were already looking at the babies when Azade's dad said," Azade nganeyami umawakho ula esibhedlela, she's in coma but I know she will wake up as soon as you walk the road she didn't want you to walk as soon as you fully accept who you are and the power you possess konke kuzo hamba kahle, so if the journey you and Nathi are planning is part of that then take it and don't look back until everything is done. " for a while the room was in pin drop silence and while we were still processing that my dad said," But before you guys leave you have to bary your child, nothing big just a private funeral and also Azade you will have to breast pump some milk for your angel baby and Nathi your mother is missing but I give you the right to deal with your brother as you see fit. "
The room was in tense silence no one wanted to say anything between Azade and I and that's when Thuli and Enkosi walked in with everything that we had asked and started complimenting the babies and for a while everything was normal until visiting hours came to and end and everyone went home and it was just Azade and I. Azade started breaking down and I got up to console her while also crying, I think the loss of our child is really hitting us up now that we are alone.