FATE

Chapter 1 4

Badriyyah

It's been 2 weeks since I got married and for a married woman, I'm so doing it wrong. I mean I'm still getting used to the change and all except there's no much change to begin with. I'm still living with my parents so the fact that I haven't moved out is kind of making me forget that I'm married unless someone in my house brings it up, my friends call to congratulate me or family, neighbors and friends alike come into the house to congratulate Ammi.

Bassam and I aren't any different too. We haven't magically gotten any closer or do things that couples do. Well except the occasionally phone calls emphasis on "occasionally" the one person whom I talk on the phone with everyday is Fa'iza. He visited 3 days ago though and brought Zaahir with him. Like the jovial person he is, he kept us entertained with his stories, jokes and endless teasing and I was glad because if anything, Bassam and I are acting more like strangers now than ever. We always find a way to make things awkward without knowing who initiated the awkwardness.

We're all in the living room watching news on CNN. Today's one of those days that Abba decides to sit with us and not in his living room upstairs. On days like this, we talk about nothing and everything. Gists, news, history, studies, politics, a trip down the memory lane, life and even death. He always finds a way to talk about death and the after life. Says it makes one Steadfast in the deen and lessen the pursuit of dunya (worldly things) and distractions. He always reminds us that the world is a testing ground and urge us to fear Allah in all our doings. I always look forward to days like today minus watching the news part.

Today's one of the days we decide not to cook dinner as Deejah is currently in the kitchen frying tofu and we keep going into the kitchen to get ourselves a plate of her signature tofu and liver sauce. I made zobo and made sure everyone got a bottle except Ya Karami is on his second or third bottle. He lives for this combo because he'd rather have a plate of tofu than eat a chicken wrap unless he's really craving for it.

Suddenly, Abba broke the news of the Turakis contacting him regarding my moving to Bassam's house and if there's going to be a wedding, any event we'd like them to host. I didn't say a word and tuned them down as they kept discussing and arguing about the wedding. Ammi dragged me into the conversation by asking if there's anything, an event I'd like to host for my friends or something. It's general knowledge that I've always wanted a lowkey wedding. I'm not against a small gathering with few friends and family preferably at home and that's all but now I don't know if I'm still up for it. I shook my head and said no but if she wants to organize something, she shouldn't let me stop her. Knowing Ammi she definitely is planning something big.

I subtly tried to change the topic by bringing up my SIWES. Glad my parents are both in the same room, I asked for permission to go submit the form tomorrow together with Fa'iza. They looked at each other and then at me like I've suddenly grown two heads. I asked what was wrong to which Ammi replied "does your husband knows you're going?" It now downed on me that yes as a married woman, my husband is who I must ask before going out.

I told her I didn't inform him and everybody bursted into fits of laughter. She told me yes I could go but only when Bassam says I should. So I made a mental note to text him and let him know before I go to bed.

After eating and conversing some more, we all retired to bed not after I did the dishes seeing it's the least I could do after Khadijah did all the work. We all said good night and went to our respective rooms. The first thing I did entering the room was texting my now supposed husband about my going out tomorrow.

I left my phone on my bed and got into the toilet. I showered and performed ablution. I changed into something comfortable and decided to pray.

After I was done praying, I switched off the lights and got ready for bed. I picked up my phone and saw that I had notifications of 2 text messages and a missed call from yours truly. Opening up the text messages, the first one read