Dear Diary

29. AFTERMATH

Thursday, October 10th

G I O V A N N I

School was closed yesterday since it was a crime scene, but now we're back in session. Things are different now and it isn't only because of the stares I'm getting. It was bad when Sid died, but now it's so much worse. Supid people looking at me as if I'm some kind of anomaly and then looking away when I lock eyes with them. I had to suppress the urge to blurt "What the hell are you looking at?" several times already.

Restraint is hard.

I haven't spoken to any of my friends, though not for lack of trying. That's the real reason why everything feels different. Rome is staying with me and my parents, but he barely says a word to us. He even left early so we didn't ride to school together. Kelly's parents don't want any of us around for the time being, so visiting her at the hospital is out of the question, and as far as Samara goes, there's this weird tension between us.

Then there's Derek, whatever the hell he's up to.

I'm the first to make it outside to the table we usually sit at for lunch. Before long, Rome's carrying a tray of food into the area. We make eye contact and he walks toward me. My face lights up, but dims just as quickly when he walks right on by, taking a seat at a different table. I look back to where students are coming from, and sure enough Samara steps out after a few moments. She spots me as well, but also chooses to sit at a different table, even away from Rome. She takes off her backpack and she pulls out a book, effectively ignoring my presence.

I can't help but think if breaking our friendship up is part of D.T.'s ultimate goals for whatever reason . . . he might have succeeded.

***

J E R O M E

I feel like the biggest prick on Earth. I shouldn't avoid my friends, especially since they have tried reaching out, but I need time to let the dust settle and shame has its hold on me. Everyone knows Ma killed Tori and tried to kill my friends. And the fact that Kelly is still hospitalized because of what Ma did to her . . . How could I not feel guilty?

Where do I go from here? Where do any of us go from here? We're no closer to figuring out who D.T. is than we've ever been. So much has happened and we have almost nothing to show for it. All this on top of Tori's funeral next week, which if there was any hope of me attending at all, is now effectively an impossibility because, of course, who would want the son of the murderer in attendance?

I stand up to dump my tray of food, not even taking a bite, and walk back inside the school. Gio and Samara being out there is distracting and uncomfortable. I stride alone aimlessly and eventually notice Chace and Andre. On Chace's left shoulder is black stability brace, made visible by the red muscle shirt he's wearing.

They're walking in my direction and I curse under my breath when Andre sees me and waves, smiling brightly. "Yo, Rome!"

I force a smile back as he eagerly approaches. "Hey, Dre."

"Are you okay, man?" Andre asks. "I mean, I heard . . . well, everyone heard about what happened, obviously. How are you holding up?"

"About as good as one can be after finding out their mom killed their girlfriend," I respond pedantically.

Andre looks embarrassed. "I'm sorry. Chace told me details when I visited him in the hospital."

I avoid making eye contact with Chace, and I know he's doing the same. A conversation is needed, but not right now. "I'm sure he did."