Because of that Night (Book 3)

Chapter 86: Lila

Lila wasn't sure what state to expect Ryan Cooper in when she arrived at the house that morning. With the state Hunter had arrived in the night before, she feared Mr. Cooper would look much the same as what she predicted Hunter to look like later that morning: disheveled, with bags under his eyes, a searing headache, and a frown. But Ryan Cooper, too, had changed in those past five years. Almost five years sober, he wasn't the person Lila had originally met when she first moved to Borne nearly a decade ago. And there was a larger piece of her than she cared to admit that breathed a sigh of relief when she walked in and saw no liquor bottles out on the counter or empty beer cans in the recycling. Coffee was brewing, and as Lila surveyed the scene, Mr. Cooper ambled into the kitchen past the peninsula. He gestured to a seat there, and asked if she wanted a cup of coffee, which she accepted.

She sat down gingerly, as though still not completely sure if she could trust it all yet. But as she looked around, she noticed, too, the way the Cooper household had changed. She had always considered it to be dark, plain, and dreary when she had first moved to Borne and met the Coopers, but there were adaptions now. An old toybox of Hunter and Michael's sat in the living room filled with toys for Dylan to play with when he would come over. The curtains that so often had been drawn closed now were pushed open wide. There were hundreds of new photos everywhere – on the walls, on the counters, on the fridge. Dylan's face spread across the house like wallpaper – Dylan laughing, playing, sleeping, eating. Dylan as a brand-new baby laying on Lila's chest. Hunter holding up both of Dylan's hands when they were first trying to get him to walk. Dylan on Mr. Cooper's lap as he read him a book.

Zooey had told her of how much livelier the house had been when Mrs. Cooper was around. There were what felt like hundreds of potted plants, the radio was constantly on, and every lamp they owned seemed to be on too. Mrs. Cooper liked a lot of light, Zooey had said, and she would laugh, talking about how often she remembered watching Mr. Cooper shake his head and turn off several lamps or light switches, complaining of how there was too much light.

But that was what had made their marriage work so well. They were, at their souls, opposites. Yet their differences didn't cause them to resent one another but recognize the worth in the other's point of view. Sometimes, they even began to see the other's side and adopt their way of doing things. They adapted to one another while recognizing each other's quirks. Zooey talked about the Cooper's marriage fondly, especially once her own parents' marriage ended. Lila wondered if it was how Zooey managed to remain as positive as she did, because she had proof that successful marriages were out there, even if they ended far too soon.

Hunter had provided Lila a differing picture of his parents' marriage than Zooey had. Once Lila began to date Michael and was around the Cooper household more often, she learned how things had dulled with the absence of Mrs. Cooper. But Hunter also let Lila know that his parents' differences are what nearly killed their marriage. They were just lucky enough to have a mother that was more than a little persuasive and a father that would do just about anything to make his wife happy. Without their ability to evolve, perhaps their story would have ended a lot differently.

That was a reality that didn't exist anywhere but in "what if." Lila never knew Mrs. Cooper, but something told her that how the house was here and now was more of how she would have liked it. It was as though all the lights in the house were turned on, just the way Mrs. Cooper kept it. It was just different now, yet her spirit, her lightness had returned through the countless photographs. Lila had never experienced it for herself, but she assumed that this was what Mrs. Cooper's spirit felt like – warm, bright, and open.

Lila noticed, too, that Michael still inhabited so much of this space. His face, like Dylan's, spread across the walls. There were photos of him from baseball seasons, old trophies, photos of Michael and Hunter when they were very young in the bath together. There were even photos of Michael and Lila before their proms, after baseball and soccer games. It was like a scrapbook you could walk through, could relive every moment of time and experiences that could never be repeated. Dylan's first steps could only happen once. He could only be a baby once. Michael and Lila could never go to prom again. He could never play fall-ball or go to baseball camp. Lila remembered when Michael had first passed and all of the things she thought about that he would never get to do. It made her heart feel as heavy then as it did now, and she found herself needing to look away from it all and focus instead on her mug of coffee.