Light of Love

Chapter 7

-It's been 5 hours since he usually wakes up. Why isn't he answering....am i being too clingy? No I texted him like usual...okay four texts but he hasn't answered....Perhaps he's busy....he doesn't work on Tuesdays though and he should be done with his morning class....-

Jeonghan sits in his studio in front of a painting he's been working on for quite some time. It was a portrait of Seungcheol and he wanted to make it perfect. His hair was in some type of mini/messy/not even a bun/ bun. It's been all day and Seungcheol hasn't answered him. They were perfectly fine yesterday and the days before. Hell, Cheol and him hung out with some of Cheol's friends over the last weekend.

-Maybe I should call him-

Joenghan lets the rings of the phone fill the room. He was thinking of what to say once he heard the hoarse tone of Seungcheol's voice, 'hey what's up', 'hey why aren't you answering me are you busy?' 'Cheol! Are you okay!!'. Yet it never came. The blonde titled his head, the phone rang 5 times before the voicemail came about, so it couldn't have been dead.

Joenghan lets his phone fall to his lap clutched in his hands. He stares at the unfinished painting in front of him. All he had done was Seungcheol's smile. That smile he fell in love with the first time he saw it. His feelings had come a long way for the taller, and now he could consider it love. But was that a good thing? -Surely Cheol has something for me right....friends don't act like that- he thought.

"Maybe he's just too busy with work."

With lingering thoughts and an eerie feeling the blonde got up. He grabbed his belongings and headed to 'Diamond pastries'. Rushing down the sidewalk, eagerly tapping his foot against the subway floor, flinging the door open at the small bakery. He made it and walked up to the counter.

"Oh hey Jeonghan.." It was a low toned voice and by the black curly hair Joenghan could tell it was Mingyu. He smiled as he let his eyes trot over to the door of the kitchen. Hoping to find a black haired rummaging with some dough. 

"Is Seungcheol here?"

A shaky sigh came out of Mingyu and he placed his hands gingerly on the counter. "Seungcheol is out today...I'm sorry."

Jeonghan nods, "Oh that's fine. He's just not answering me right now...thank you though." With that he left the bakery. Clutching his bag as he headed home.

"Does anyone know where Cheol is.." He whispered to himself. He didn't like this.

The overcoming feeling of loss. It was shaky and unstable. Jeonghan felt like he could cry and scream at the same time. It tugged at his heart and left him to feel limp. Once he had arrived home he threw his shoes off, letting his bag fall beside them as he trudged to his bedroom. Thus he fell to his bed, feeling his baby blue sheets engulf him made him feel so far from the world.

The day just didn't feel right without the taller in it. Without his texts and without his calls and hangouts. It felt as if Jeonghan was missing a piece of himself. Without Suengcheol, was he anything? Just a kid that couldn't see faces. Seungcheol actually made him feel normal, because he could see his face. It let him realize the beauty of people and how such small features are different for everyone.

God did Joenghan miss that feeling. The feeling of Seungcheol's smile and beautiful eyes. The warmth and calm ambiance made him feel safe. Protected. Now that he was alone suddenly, he felt the coldness he had before he met Seungcheol. The feeling of only being a vessel in the world and going on mindlessly without thinking day by day. Joenghan finally had a purpose to wake up everyday and to think about something other than art, which was the only reason that kept him stringed to this world. Jeonghan didn't want this feeling, he was happy he had gotten rid of it but now it returned. Like a parasite.