Keepers

Barbed Wire Princess

Surgery had gone perfectly and my leg had been put in a soft cast and boot. Trevor and Camden had kept to their promise of staying but apparently staying out of my business with my mom wasn't a part of the deal and they'd called her while I was in surgery. Everyone was in my recovery room fussing and I couldn't do anything but mentally urge the nurses to get going on my discharge papers.

"I can't believe you didn't call me." Mom whined for the one millionth time.

"I texted Gaz." I drone and Gaz instantly looks furious.

"You said you were probably fine! Needing surgery isn't fine!" He shouts and it's the only yelling that actually hurts a little bit.

"I am fine. I didn't want you guys worrying and I knew you both had plans today." I look everywhere except for at him as I speak.

"Fuck plans, Zo!" He erupts. "You are more important than a goddamn grocery run."

"Can you guys please wait out in the lobby? They should be getting my discharge stuff together." I redirect and Gaz stares wide-eyed at me but wraps his arm around our mom's shoulders and guides her out.

Trevor and Camden look at me sadly.

"You really don't think you're more important than grocery shopping?" Camden grimaces as if in pain.

"I didn't say that." I state plainly but Trevor looks hard at me because I didn't need to say it.

The unspoken hangs dense in the room and I know there's nothing I can do to clear it away. It's the truth. I hadn't been important to anyone in what felt like forever. Not to my mom or my dad. Gaz was too far and too busy for me to matter. School had been a daily hell for so many years now. I only had me. Could only count on me.

A few minutes of uncomfortable silence later and the nurse walks in with my papers and a pair of crutches that they adjust to my height. Then they have another nurse wheel me out to the front of the building. Gaz helps me into the back of mom's SUV and I thank Camden and Trevor for bringing me to the hospital. They ask me to text when I get home but I know I won't so I just wave.

Mom and Gaza don't talk to me the whole way home which involves a stop at the school where mom gets the things I'd left in Mister Kyper's class from the front office and her driving my car home. When we get home I hobble all the way up to my room and close the door so I can change into different clothes; lounge shorts and a long-sleeved oversized shirt. I have to arrange some of my pillows so I can prop my leg up before I can lay down but when I finally do all I can do is exhale. Air rushes out of me like I'd been holding my breath from the hospital until now.

There's a knock at my door and Gaz announcing that it's him so I let him open the door.

"I just want to talk." He tells me cautiously and I give a half-hearted shrug.

"Why did you lie to me Zo?" He asks once he's sat in the armchair in the corner. I shrug again. "Zoda, what's going on?" He pleads.

"There's no way I can answer that." I sigh and examine the spaceships hanging above me so I don't have to look at him.

"When did it get to the point where you couldn't talk to me?" His voice is strained and even though I can hear it I don't want to see him crying.

"Probably sometime between when you left and now." I avoid actually answering and he gives a frustrated laugh.

"Come on. Just talk to me." He begs again.

"Ya know, when you left I was so proud of you. Like, my big brother in the Army," I give a small chuckle, "But I didn't get to feel like that for long because I started getting bullied at school. And I found out just today that it all started because one stupid girl got jealous of me at the beginning of freshman year. It was so bad but I learned to deal with it. More than that I learned to thrive in it." I look at him and see Gaz's awestruck look so I smile and look back up at my spaceships.