Whiskey River, Drown my Soul

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Bre was a mess. She was seeing her therapist and taking medication, and she was feeling herself pulling out of the deep depression she had fallen into when Brad died, but she wasn't back to level yet. She wasn't sure she ever would be again, especially since Paige had presented her with the ultimatum. She only had two weeks after the holiday to tell her husband she had been cheating on him for almost nine years with his best friend.

So, the depression was getting better but the anxiety was getting worse. Bre had never understood anxiety, or even felt it, before she met Paige. She remembered clearly bouts of anxiety creeping in during Paige's pregnancy. Worrying, nagging jealousy, and fear about Paige's and Drew's health. Then when Paige got kidnapped, and Bre was minutes away from being in that situation herself, she had felt full blown anxiety. It continued when she found out she was wearing the ring Steve had proposed to Paige with.

She really, kind of, hated Paige now. She always had been jealous of her though she loved her. Now, she didn't feel much love. She didn't feel much anything except anger. She was really angry at Paige. Not only had Bre lost Brad but Paige was forcing her to lose her husband right after. Paige still had Rev, and if she didn't have Rev, she could easily take Steve back if she wanted him. Paige could have any man she wanted and she was being cruel.

Bre had never experienced that- men wanting her. Brad had treated Bre like no one ever had. He talked to her like she was special, he treated her like she was worth his time and affection, he told her she was beautiful, he demonstrated that he was attracted to her, and he protected her. Brad increased her confidence and Bre had always felt like she could do anything with Brad's support behind her. Not that Steve didn't love her, but he wasn't Brad. He didn't pay attention to the details, the little things she needed that she wasn't even aware of herself. Steve sure paid attention to his Paigie's needs like that, though. Every man did.

She sighed, listening to her kids shrieking and running around downstairs. She wished she had a week to herself, even a day, just to process everything. Just to think.

Her sister, Bethany, and Bethany's younger daughter were coming to stay overnight so she could take Steve out for New Years with Kendra and Andy. One last night of fun before their marriage ended. Bethany's older daughter was watching Gi, Ava, Luca, and one of Luca's friends. Being that it would be overnight and that Henry was still little, Bre and Bethany both felt better about her staying at Bre's to help, just in case. 

Bre had finally told her older sister, Brittany, about the situation she was in. Brittany was her closest sister and her friend. This was the first person she had talked to about it outside of Brad and Paige. Brittany was shocked, to put it mildly. She had been sobbing and kept saying, "I don't understand". Brittany felt that she should have told Steve right away and cut things off with Brad once her and Steve had resolved the ring issue. Brittany couldn't comprehend her continuing on for nine years and she had looked like she was going to throw up or pass out when she learned Charlie was Brad's.

Needless to say, it hadn't gone well, so Bre was worried about telling anyone else. Brittany had been keeping her distance since then. Bre would tell her parents or Bethany next.

She had borrowed a knee length black sequins dress with a v-neck and cap sleeves from her sister, Bailey. She had lost so much weight since Brad died, she didn't even look like herself. She wasn't working out and had lost all of her muscle tone. She didn't eat, couldn't remember to, until Steve said something, and then she did it simply so he wouldn't worry.

She decided on black and gold jewelry to go with it and set that out on her dresser before hearing a crash from downstairs.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying not to burst into tears as she heard, "Moooommmmmm!!!!!"