August Cold

Fuck You, & That Couch

                                                                                                         Vivid images quickly swept into my brain.  He struggled to breathe as my foot pressed against is neck. I loved watching the color start to fade from his face, his choked gasps for air. He should have never betrayed me. I could have been saved the trouble of getting my shirt bloody. I pressed harder into his throat, "say please." 

 My heart rate began to speed up quicker than I can say. My body tensed and twitched as I pushed my nails into the palms of my hands. This shit happens whenever I think of her. How can someone so smart, so beautiful, be so rotten? Manipulation is a powerful thing, decieved into believing her charm was real, but just like her innocence, it was just an illusion.

I fucking hate her. I endured emotional distress on a daily basis because she led me to believe, it was all for love. She justified tearing me down, little by little... judging me, because it showed she cared. I should have saw it coming. Judgement. Word of the fucking day. I spent my life being being a victim of just that, judgement. She was supposed to be a breathe from that, she was supposed to save me. 

"I hope no one is there to save her from Brian giving her aids." I whispered softly into my hands. I continued to shake and twitch, the need of release overwhelming me. 

Shh calm down... 

You're shaking,

Breathe

 In

and .. 

Out.

      I am, Max Codd former and most recent victim of Melissa Bell.

      We used to stay up till three in the morning, conversations about love and life. Her innocence, now revealed as deception, captured me. She was different than most. Books and art was more important than partying and romance. From the moment I saw her, I just knew. Everyday with her was magic, then it was no longer the beginning and her ways changed, she changed. She no longer kept her hair in those cute sloppy ponytails, she began to let her hair down, she wore contacts. The clothes got tighter, the ego got bigger. Hell, she even changed her Instagram name from MelissaCodd to just plain Mel. 

  Our nights used to be spent, talking about our future. Safe under the covers eating bowls of ice cream till exhaustion hit us. I bet her tiredness now, is due to the hardcore fuck, Brian has given her. Brian Brian Brian, oh how stupid he can be, someone should have told him the definition of a Best Friend. 

My eyes begin to water, but I refuse to let tears fall. Think happy thoughts, think about how they'll get married and then suddenly 50 years into their marriage one dies from a heart attack, and the other is left to live alone with memories. Talk about true pain. Their pain will one day give me happiness.

    The walk to Melissa's house is depressing and sickening. The cloud filled sky fogs my brain with negative thoughts and at this point I don't know if these are tears or the rain. Either way I'll blame it on the rain, and my red puffy eyes? Um, allergies. I've been locked inside a closet filled with pollen and sadness. Ugh shut up Max you sound like a girl. I should've taken my car. I should have done a lot of things but oh well.

You can hear my thoughts and the constant collapse of my heart from New York to Texas. 

"No, I'm not nervous.. why would I be? I hate her." I have got to stop talking to myself.

 I text Melissa and patiently wait for her to bring Chaos out, that lovely bluenose pit. I hope she bites Mel's fingers when she goes to pet her.

I'm watching Chaos for two days while Mel.. I mean Melissa visits her dad in New Jersey. Why couldn't she ask Brian? Oh she "doesn't trust him with that responsibility." His only good quality is bedding her.                                                                                                                                                                                                Eight minutes and twenty-four seconds later, the door still hasn't opened.                                                          I do have a spare key. She only let me keep it in case she can't watch Chaos. Honestly, I should be the one keeping the dog after all she did leave with my heart. 

Another five minutes passed and then I decided to just go in, and get Chaos. It was unusual for her to not run up on any visitor, she didn't bark or anything. It didn't take long for me to notice how the house smelled like cheap air freshener and cigarettes. What, you're boy toy can't afford Febreze? Is he too lazy to go smoke outside?

 In the living room the dog just laid on the couch, sleeping. The same couch in which I held my love and probably the same couch my love has been covered with Brian's babies.

"Come on girl." I say a few times till she gets up. She yaps and runs with me out the house.

I didn't close the door, in hopes Melissa would get robbed.