am i still special now,
not in your memories or hidden pictures;
but right now in this moment,
is there still a place for me?
i don't know if i still want there to be.
even so, can i hear it once more?
i want to believe
i am so much more than this.
it's like grasping at air
and begging water to let me hold her.
the desperation to know what i am
and what i am not;
it's so suffocating
to watch the grass grow from a rocking chair,
and to see the flames building in their hearts
knowing it could've been me to spark it.
it should've been me from the start.
but, it was.
and it still is, isn't it?
