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123 Safety street seriously

Next is 123 Safety street

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123 Safety Street
Sometimes it was easy to forget I came from an ultra-religious household. Playing touch football with the kids from Church is pretty much the same as playing with anyone else, for example. Same trash talk, same asshole kid who still tackles, and so on.

The only time I really felt the sting was during the holidays. Christmas was about Jesus's birth and bloody, torturous death, not some silly fat bastard in red pajamas. Easter was about... well, the same bloody, torturous death... not a rabbit who somehow symbolized pagan immorality.

Halloween was the worst. For me, Halloween nearly didn't exist.

I lived in a world where the word had no meaning other than what I could gather from other children. I wasn't too interested in letting them know I was that "ignorant", so eavesdropping was my primary source of information.

When kids asked me what I was going to "be" for Halloween, I was at a loss. After stammering for a bit, I'd just repeat whatever I'd last heard someone else had chosen.

"I'm going to be a Dracula."

"I'm going to be a Frankenstein".

"I'm going to be... Sailor Moon?"

If I got through the conversation without riotous laughter, I considered it a success. Then I immediately worried about going to Hell for lying.

When kids came to school dressed in their costumes, however, things got a little tricky. Claiming my costume hadn't arrived yet only worked through the lower grades. Then I had to shift to sarcastic answers I'd stolen from others, like "I'm a serial killer. They look like anybody."

Early on, I didn't even know the date Halloween fell upon. When autumn came, I immediately started worrying about when Halloween was, all the way up to the end of October.

I'd asked my parents about the whole thing, but they'd never really give me any answers other than "It's Satanic" and "It's against God". I had asked with increasing frequency as years passed, and I'm sure it was getting obnoxious.

So, given all of that, you'll be able to guess my reaction when Mom & Dad came home with "123 Safety Street".

They had left early that morning, leaving me "in charge" of the order of the house, so they could attend a very important meeting on how Satan was attempting to get into the minds and hearts of their children.

He had some fresh ideas, I guess.

"Here, this is for you." Mom said as she took off her jacket and handed me a small, square object.

It was a CD ROM game.

That would've been strange enough, since I hadn't received anything like this since, "Mr. Math's Market", a year or two prior... but there was more to be concerned about.

The slipcover displayed a happy, smiling, adorable pumpkin. A Jack O' Lantern. Something I'd only ever seen on the doorsteps of other families. The gourd wore a bright yellow sash across its... well, face... that read, "CAUTION".

The title read "123 Safety Street".

"What's this?" I asked meekly, almost feeling like this was some sort of test. Was I supposed to throw it to the floor and stomp on it? Did I need to recite some arcane Latin phrase to drive it out of the house?