Danganronpa chatfic

how do you accidentally give someone a concussion?!

Billiards Master: uhh I'm pretty sure one of the upperclassmen is a nurse so could you please help out? I think I accidentally gave Roha a concussion

Welcome to the mindfuck: how do you accidentally give someone a concussion?

Billiards Master: well we were having a pillow fight and I accidentally hit her a little too hard and I kinda knocked her into the wall and she hit her head

Nurse Joy: oh dear I'll be right over

Lucky boi: I just saw Teruya walk by with a pizza box on his head and now I'm starting to question life

Welcome to the mindfuck: starting?! I've been questioning life the second I was born! Like why I was born with a mental disability that made my biological parents abandon me

Dobby is a free elf: sweetie are you ok?

Welcome to the mindfuck: No❤

Hatsume: just heard a song that calls the ocean a virgin and haha fucking virgin

Otaku: aren't you a virgin Miu?

Hatsume: Nope! My virginity was taken by my lovely girlfriend Kaede! She's the lucky girl that got to take the virginity of the gorgeous girl genius

Checker rat: I wouldn't call you gorgeous or a genius

Hatsume: shut the fuck up

Sora: just walked in to see Kokoro and Emma making out on MY bed

Sora: like go to your side of the dorm please

Epic Journalist: okay everyone stfu

Epic Journalist: someone left an ice cube on the floor that melted and now my sock is wet

Epic Journalist: who tf wanna die?

You're a wizard Harry: that would've been me

Epic Journalist: prepare to die

You're a wizard Harry: nah it's Kokoro's job to try and kill me as its my job to try and kill her

Drug owl: please kill them both, two less annoying ass motherfuckers

Bunny: Emma's going to kill you once she finds out about how you were talking about her girlfriend

Drug owl: she can die trying to kill me because I'd kill her first

Cinnamon roll: why are we casually talking about murder? That's not good

Drug owl: stfu crossdressing mf

Lesbian rights: Chihiro's crossdressing?!

Rhythm: SYOBAI WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU EXPOSE HIM LIKE THAT?!

Drug owl: stfu you have a body count of over 70 people

Hatsume: damn you a hoe!

Melody: Kanade's aroace so what the hell are you talking about

Hatsume: oh THAT body count

Piano freak: honestly why can't anyone at this school have a sexual body count?

۰۪۫S۪۫۰۰۪۫p۪۫۰۰۪۫a۪۫۰۰۪۫c۪۫۰۰۪۫e۪۫۰ ۰۪۫M۪۫۰۰۪۫a۪۫۰۰۪۫n۪۫۰: i mean Yoruko probably has one, I mean she is a hostess

Bunny: I AM A VIRGIN YOU WHORE

Dobby is a free elf: can you guys stfu you're blowing up my phone while I'm trying to fuck my girlfriend

You're a wizard Harry: I don't believe that, you're a bottom Emma

Dobby is a free elf: STFU NO ONE ASKED

Big scary biker: NO ONE ASKED TO KNOW THAT YOU'RE FUCKING YOUR GIRLFRIEND

Welcome to the mindfuck: and honestly she's doing a terrible job at it, I mean you stopped sex to text

Big scary biker: AGAIN NO ONE ASKED

Atua kool aid: WHY ARE WE ALL YELLING?!

Big scary biker: STFU

Lesbian rights: DON'T BE FUCKING RUDE AND RESPECT WOMEN

Rainbow Man: okay who fucked my basil?!

Lesbian rights: people are fucking plants now?! First children and animals and now plants?!

Rainbow Man: no they didn't have sex with my basil they just knocked it over

Ojboy!: Chihiro's crying because he was outed

Lesbian rights: YOU MADE HIM CRY?! ALRIGHT FUCKER THAT'S IT I'M COMING OVER THERE TO KICK YOUR ASS

Piano freak: oh god can some of you strongest boys in that dorm hold her down so no one gets killed?

the dad friend: why the strongest guys?

Hogwarts: because she's a martial artist

I'm gay: also knowing Syobai he'd stab her

the dad friend: yeah I'll go hold her down