I'm So Lost For You

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Scottsdale, Arizona

May 26, 1997

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"Heeeeelp  me, I think I'm fallin' in love again...When I get that crazy feeling, I know I'm in trouble again..."

The afternoon sun was shining high in the sky over the rented car Lindsey was driving down the road in Paradise Valley, Arizona, Stevie beside him in the passenger seat, singing happily along to "Help Me" by her beloved Joni Mitchell from the Court And Spark album as they made their way to an secret, special location. It was May 26, 1997, and today, Stevie Nicks turned forty-nine years old. She had woken up at nine o'clock on the morning of her birthday in the most perfect way - the Arizona sun, the smell of desert honeysuckle and her little sleeping dog on one side, and Lindsey behind her on the other side, holding her tight and kissing her awake along the back of her head and the side of her neck, whispering sweetly in her ear, "Wake up, sweet girl...it's your special day." She had turned around into him and he'd started her birthday off with a long, sweet kiss and whispered, "I love you so much, Stephanie. I can't wait till you see what I have planned for your special day."

Lindsey would not tell her where they were going. Stevie had said a few days before that she wanted to wake up at home in Arizona on her birthday, so they had flown in on the night before, a Sunday, and gone directly to a Nicks family dinner at Jess and Barbara's complete with a carrot cake - Stevie's favorite - as Lindsey, Jess, Barbara, Christopher, Lori and Jessi hang sung "Happy Birthday" to her at the dining room before the disco music had started and the women of the family had begun their dance party and the three man had sat around with coffee and cake and carried on by themselves as the women danced to "The Best Of My Love". It was exactly the kind of simple birthday celebration she wanted, and she had been all smiles as she'd come over to the sofa where Lindsey sat to get him to dance with her.


"Doesn't take much to make me happy, and make me smile with glee..." Stevie was singing along to the song on the disco compilation CD on the stereo in her living room in her Arizona home, arms outstretched to Lindsey where he sat next to her brother. "...never, never will I feel discouraged...'cause our love's no mystery..."  Her silver moon necklace dangled out over him as she'd taken his hands in hers and said, "Dance with me, sweetheart...you can't say no on my birthday!" Lindsey smiled and she helped him off the couch, and he was pulled onto the "dance floor", which was just the middle of the living room beside the coffee table.

"Actually, Aunt Stevie, it's not your real birthday till tomorrow...it's your birthday eve," six-year-old Jessi said proudly, correcting her and Lindsey laughed.

"You're not helping me with your facts, kiddo," Stevie teased, and she temporarily turned away from Lindsey and began dancing towards Jessi with fingers pointing like she was about to tickle her, which she did, Jessi squealing and laughing as Stevie sang to her in a mock falsetto, "Whoa-whoa...you got the best of my love, whoa-whoa...you got the best of my love!" She and Lindsey each took one of Jessi's hands in theirs to lift her off the floor and twirl her around, and soon everyone in the room was on their feet, dancing to "Keep It Coming Love" by K.C. & The Sunshine Band. Stevie and Lindsey danced their way into the middle of it all, finally just slow-dancing despite the disco beat in each other's arms, smiling into each other's loving gaze, and Barbara picked up her camera from the coffee table, where she'd rested it after taking a few family photos over cake that night already, and took a candid photo of them looking at each other with a lovestruck look in both of their eyes. It wasn't until later that night, as Stevie helped Barbara load the dishwasher and Lindsey went out into the backyard to smoke a joint with Chris, that Barbara had given her a hug and a kiss and smiled at her knowingly.

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