Forgave

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I forgave you, when you didn't even apologise
Yet again I feel tremors from the ground,
Not from you pushing me with hands
But from your words shattering my world.
Why am I even crying, I brought this on myself
By forgiving you when you didn't even apologise.

My pathetic self felt happy, whenever I was praised by your words.
A little of me knows ,
being elevated by the person who pushed you in dump in the first place means nothing.

I need to figure out what new disease it is.
Knowing I need to leave but just couldn't.
Knowing I shouldn't love but I do.
As Knowing it will break by each passing day but holding onto it.

It is my superpower or what that I'm so strong,
I know I'm drinking poison but not dying .
Does it mean I should stop or keep killings myself to see where it goes.

Do I deserve this bittersweet poison or not?
After all this maybe I'll not be able to forgive myself .

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