To the Well-Organized Mind

Chapter Twenty-Two

[Nia]

When we lost roughly half our group of scientists, we lost so much: coworkers, friends, family, consultants, reviewers, test subjects, and even time. Now only half of us can focus on creating a cure. It will take longer, and the pressure is even higher. Fewer minds to debate and come up with fresh ideas.

The others still alive no longer want to work with me, but no matter. I have my daughter assisting me, and she has agreed to help test my most promising vaccine.

-from Gerald P. Anagnost's logs

***

We have to leave that evening. Now that Gregg made it clear he suspects I have Dementium feralis in my brain, if I slip up at all and let any hint of feralism show...I might not be able to leave willingly. Or alive.

The flurry of events wars in my mind: part of me alarmed at how much Gregg seems to know, while the other part of me is excited at the prospect of leaving Asis tonight—even earlier than I was planning.

"You really have one more vaccine?" Jaden clenches her fists. "Why didn't you mention this sooner? Why didn't you pick it up already?"

I make my way over to the foyer. After working the compost corner all day, I am caked in dirt and manure from the animals Asis raises. "Um, I was a little busy bringing survivors back from the brink of decimation. And I was hoping I wouldn't need it so soon." I turn my back on them as I begin unbuttoning my overshirt. "It's not like there's a clear-cut length of time the vaccination is good for before you need another one."

Fen raises a tentative question like he anticipates the tongue-lashing he deserves for posing it: "Why is the vaccine out in the wilds instead of here?"

Jaden and I both turn on him, and he flinches from the oncoming onslaught.

"You just saw Gregg tromping through the house like he owns the place!" I can't believe I have to say it.

"If it were here, Gregg or someone reporting to him would catch wind of it and report us for harboring vaccines," Jaden says simultaneously. "Nia's vaccines have always been kept in the wilds. No one knows she has her own batch."

I stare at him, already sensing he wants to risk another question even after the potential scars we left him for the last one. I narrow my eyes at him, daring him to speak up.

He glances away from me, but asks, "And how did you get any vaccines? I thought Gregg had them all?"

Jaden turns to me. "Yes, I'm still waiting to hear that myself one of these days. Along with everything else involving Ridge."

I just scowl. My clothes are dirty, I stink, my muscles ache from all the lifting and raking, I had to work with other people all day, then instead of being able to relax at home, I had to climb through the window to avoid Gregg, and now my feralism is in danger of being discovered. Despite this, my mother deems it the perfect time to interrogate me on things I've never discussed with her. "Ridge had them. I inherited them from him." But that's the only information I will offer. Shaking my head, I add, "I can leave tonight. I'm ready to go any moment." I begin prying my manure-caked boots off with as few fingers involved as possible.

"Of course you are. You've been planning to head out on your own before everyone else, haven't you? So you can go alone?" She heads back to the kitchen.

I pause and glance up, catching Fen's eyes snapping to me, as if he hadn't considered that possibility and was upset with himself about it. I have one boot off and the other heel halfway out of the boot. For a moment, I wonder how she always knows when I'm about to leave even though none of my actions are out of the ordinary: my bag is always packed, I've been doing my daily chores, and I don't think I slipped up in conversation. Then it suddenly hits me: I must be too happy.