it takes yuzuru hanyu years, but he finally comes to the realisation that his heart has always been yours. but, the excitement of pining, the fear of rejection and the loud pounding of his heart in his chest couldn't come at an more inconvenient tim...
You show up to the rink to watch Yuzuru a little later than usual today.
You've been busy catching up with extra work at university, making sure that every single piece of work is finished before you head off to Pyeongchang with Yuzuru.
You initially never intended to study physics, but when Yuzuru suggested that it may be a good fit for you (and, after considering your grades in physics) you decided to just give it a go.
Your best friend truly does know you well, because though the work may be hard, being a physics major is quite interesting. You don't regret listening to him at all, and he's often found cracking jokes at how you being a physics major is all thanks to him.
Which to be fair, it is.
You plug your headphones in, soft music playing through the speakers as you tap on the keyboard of your laptop, writing a paper that's due in a couple days.
You look up after typing one paragraph, and you wave to Yuzuru, who just so happens to be looking in your direction. He returns the gesture, a smile on his lips.
"Homework?" he mouths to you, and you nod. He gives you a thumbs up and a wink before doing a couple twizzles around the rink. You chuckle at his antics, shaking your head before you return to writing your paper.
You wouldn't deny that your best friend winking at you made your heart skip a beat.
You tap your foot on the ground to the rhythm of the song, humming the tune of it too as you write. Your fingers fly at the keyboard, and you don't realise how Yuzuru's gazing at you from the ice.
When you're halfway done, you take a short break, stretching your arms and wriggling your fingers so that they don't become stiff after all that typing. You decide to just watch Yuzuru skate for a bit, resting your chin on the palm of your hand.
Yuzuru is absolutely mesmerising, on the ice and off. You never forget how one look from him makes all your organs feel funny - your heart beating incredibly fast, your stomach fluttering and it feels like you nearly can't breathe when his face gets a little too close to yours.
You suddenly feel a small tug on the string of your headphones, and you turn to meet eyes with Haruto. "Could I sit?" he asks, motioning to the empty seat beside you, and you nods.
He peers to look at your paper on the computer screen. "Physics. You're a physics major?" he questions, and you nod. "Yeah, I am."
"That's cool. That's... really cool. Science majors are so interesting - I've always thought that you guys kind of just have the answers to everything, right? And you guys can simplify it in a way that makes sense." Haruto chuckles, and you purse your lips, titling your head to the side.
"Mmm, not all the answers. There are some things that are just inscrutable." you respond, and Haruto hums in acknowledgement.
"Like what?"
"There are a lot, actually. You can list one and I'll see if I can respond." you smile, and Haruto puffs out his cheek as he thinks.
"What about love?"
You honestly should've seen the question coming. You turn to look at him, and you're finally seeing the hopeful look in his eye that Kaori was talking about.
"Huh," you start. "That is a difficult one."
You've always asked yourself this one question. Is there a theory for love? As a science major, you should have the answers - yet you're still looking for it.
"I don't think there are any answers to love, really. Or any way to describe why we feel what we feel." you hum, and Haruto looks at you intently. "We just... do. Of course, there's a ton of things people do that make you feel intrigued by them, or make your heart race, but there's no universal explanation as to why and how we feel those things."
"I've never really thought about it that day, if I'm being honest." Haruto confesses, and you chuckle.
"Honestly, often I think that the three little words called 'I love you' don't seem to be enough to express how people truly feel when they're in love." you say. "It's so... short. You can't possibly simplify all those feelings you hold into 3 words, 8 letters."
"What do you mean by the whole universal explanation thing?" Haruto questions.
You're sure what you feel for Yuzuru is different from how someone else feels for whoever they hold feelings for.
Watching Yuzuru skate, watching him putting all his heart and putting all his energy into his programs had made you realise something. Perhaps there is no theory for love - no possible way to accurately simplify how it feels.
"The way you feel for the person you like, will be different from the way I feel for the person I like. That's an easy way to put it." you respond.
"So you like someone?"
"It's a hypothetical. Science is full of hypotheticals." you respond, not wanting to give him any hope. Your eyes follow Yuzuru as he skates around the rink, but Haruto's eyes are focused on you.
Yuzuru specialises in skating, and you specialise in physics - your 'love' theory, is simply that there is no true love theory. Love is complex, love is incomprehensible sometimes - even more so than Einstein's theory of relativity.
The theory is hard to grasp, hard to understand as it clashes with common sense. Maybe impossible to define, even.
That's how you feel about love.
"It's funny, I think. I don't think you expected me to be a physics major," you say, and Haruto laughs, shaking his head. "No, I really didn't. You didn't seem like the type to."
"So what did I seem like?" you joke.
"Law. Design, maybe."
"Huh. That's quite interesting. I don't really seem like a physics major, really." you say. "I take all my courses online, so. That's kinda the first question people ask me when they see me always sitting here tapping away at my computer."
"Ah, that makes more sense," Haruto chuckles.
"Honestly, most of Yuzu's friends were a bit shocked when they found out I was a physics student. It just didn't seem like something I would do, y'know? Yuzu was actually the one who suggested it for me."
"Oh, did he?" Haruto asks, glancing at Yuzuru, taking a sip of water from his water bottle.
"Yeah." you smile. "It's all thanks to him, really."
Haruto doesn't say anything.
You do quite appreciate this conversation with him, though. It's much less awkward than the one you two had at the coffee shop.
"You know what I think?" you whisper, after a moment of silence between the two of you.
"What?" Haruto responds, tone and volume of his voice matching yours.
Your eyes are still focused on Yuzuru, practicing his jumps. "If you're looking for answers to love, chances are, you already have them."
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𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 somewhat of a filler chapter that'll kinda play into the rest of the plot in the future? this story will have like 25 chapters i think?? and also thank u for all the support on this fic <3 i hope ur all enjoying it !!
