THE ROYAL LIE // Young Royals season 2

Episode 1 part 4

I spent the whole car drive trying to stave off an anxiety attack. It sort of worked out because I was reasonably sane when the car pulled up in front of the graveyard's large, intimidating gates.

This is the first time I've been here since Erik's funeral. I was almost alone in the cemetery. On the way to the royal family tomb where my brother was buried together with my grandparents and my aunt, the only people I met were an old lady with her dog and a man who was about my father's age.

Malin and Isak stayed close behind me the whole time and only moved away from me a little when I was standing right in front of his tombstone. But even when they stood under a tree a few meters behind me to give me some privacy, they didn't take their eyes off me. I hate having to be constantly accompanied and protected. I can't just switch off and feel like a normal teenager anymore, but thank god Malin and Isak are very pleasant and not very intrusive, otherwise I couldn't bear it.

Erik's name was freshly engraved on the tombstone and there was still enough space below for the rest of the family. I felt nauseous at the thought of my name being carved there as well.

I was exhausted, so I dropped onto the grass in front of the grave. I took in a cross-legged position and took deep breaths in and out. With these breaths I felt the fresh winter air fill my lungs and I smelled the freshly mowed grass of the meadow i was sitting on. The ground was cold, but I couldn't feel the cold because of my long and thick winter coat, maybe also because everything around me still felt a bit numb because of the little panic attack in the car earlier.

After staying quietly in this position for some time, I started talking to Erik. Well I was actually talking to myself but I just pretended to talk to my brother. Yes, I know. But I had to tell someone. I used to go to him whenever I had problems with my parents, so now I've tried it too. It would do me good to be able to talk about everything and get this shit off my chest.

"Hey, Erik. You won't believe what has happened since you passed. I'll start at the beginning of this whole mess I'm in," I started.
"Do you remember our last phone call? You were right. I've met someone. I've met Simon, a beautiful boy with an even more beautiful soul. We were kind of secretly together, we were happy and eventually I fell in love with him. Everything was perfect until August, that jealous bitch of a cousin, decided it was a good idea to secretly record us "having a moment" and publish that fricking video. Well and after that, everything went down the drain. Our parents forced me to make a statement about the video and deny being the  boy in the video, although it's obvious. And now they want me to pretend being with some girl they picked out for me and go public with her. It's part of their cover-up story. They don't accept me loving a boy, they hate me for it and I'm sure they wish it was me in that car and not you. Honestly I wish that, too. You would have been a better king. I can't do this and I never wanted to be involved in this and now I have to take over the crown. And in our parents eyes it means sacrificing everything. Every little piece of happiness in my life, including Simon. I'm not willing to do that, maybe I'm the wrong brother for this job...," I finished with a trembling voice until it finally gave out altogether.

I just realized that tears were running down my face. I was sitting in the cold, sobbing now.

No. It shouldn't be this way. I'm only a teenager. I don't want any of this. I want to get waisted, without worrying about my reputation. I want to make out with the boy I love in the hallways of Hillerska. I want to have fun and act like a silly boy. And I want to make stupid decisions.

Fuck. I really want to make one specific stupid decision...

I want to tell the truth, I can't keep on living like this.

"Do you also think that I behave irresponsibly? Or do you think I should follow my heart and just be myself?" I asked expectantly.

The moment I finished my question, I saw a crow fly onto the tombstone, crow loudly and fly away again.

"I take this as a yes", I joked.

Erik took his role as the crownprince seriously but he didn't always agree with my parents and I don't think with my situation he would either. He would have advised me to do what makes me happy and I've never been happier than with Simon.

My decision is made. I will tell the truth like I should have from the start.

But how am I going to do that? I had to find a quick way to make this statement because my parents are waiting for me at the palace with this Wilma girl. I wouldn't get out of this unless I tell the truth to the whole world. They will absolutely hate me, but somehow I think they already do. What do i have to lose? Parents who don't really love me anyway? Who don't accept me and who try to make me a person I'm not? Fuck it. I have decided and I'm sure.

So back to my plan. I can't do an interview, that would be too short notice, and I could never organize it without my parents noticing. What else could I do? An Instagram live? No, my anxiety could never. But I could post a picture of me and Simon and post my statement as the caption. Yes, that's a good idea.

I started writing the caption:

"I would like to apologise for lying. As you may know, a video that I have already commented on went viral last week. That statement was a lie and I want to apologize for that. A lot of pressure was put on me, which is why I said in this statement that I was not the boy in the video, but I am. I didn't deny it, because I was ashamed of being with a boy, I did it because of all that has happened to me and my family, I was made believe that I would harm the monarchy with this relationship. I realised that's not true, there is nothing wrong with being with the person you love, regardless of  gender, sexual orientation, skin colour or country of orign. That a lot of people including the LGBTQIA+ community are still not fully accepted and are discriminated against is a problem that we as a country still have to work on. Simon and I, we did nothing wrong.
I'm in love with him and I'm very proud of it. I hope you can forgive me. I'm sorry.
~Wilhelm"

I was quite happy with my text, all I had to do now was pick out a picture of me and Simon.

After some searching in my gallery, I decided on a selfie we took together during the walk to the lake, because he looks so incredibly cute in the photo. He was wearing that purple hoodie that suits him so well and a few of his curls were peeking out from under his hat. I had put my arm around his shoulder and was lovingly watching him from the side as he took the picture with his pretty smile on his face.

It didn't look staged, it wasn't inappropriate, it was just us. It was perfect.

I pasted my text from my notes into the caption but hesitated for a moment. "Fuck it. You deserve to be happy," I said aloud to my self as I clicked on the button to post my statement. Immediately my cellphone started buzzing and ringing like crazy.

Suddenly I felt my heart start beating faster and I had trouble breathing. "Breath in. Breath out," I tried to calm myself down. "It's all going to be fine"
It wasn't working, though. I started to feel numb again and eventually completely dazed off. The last thing  I felt was my body proping completely to the ground.

//

Aaaahhh!!! He did it. Wille is out. I hope you liked this chapter and you are excited to see how his parents and Simon of course will react to this.