My Worst Fear (Book 2 of JAF series)

Chapter 11 A Game Changer

"Hello?" I pull my suitcases through the front door, dropping my keys as I fumble to close it. As I bend over to pick them up a wave of dizziness hits. "Kelsey? Cole?" I realize that there are no lights and no noises. I drop everything on the floor and head for the kitchen. I know I need to eat but I don't want to. My stomach persists and I dig in the fridge for something to eat.

I finally flick on a light in the dim kitchen and my eyes dart to a white piece of paper that sits on the table. Is it from Hunter?

'Andi, I took Josh home to visit mom and dad. Hunter forgot Cole's ball and Keni wouldn't leave until I wrote to you and promised her you would get it to him. See you next week if all goes well. Sooner if not. -Love, Kelsey'

So that explains it. I trek into the livingroom, red rubber ball in hand. Another wave of dizziness hits and I catch my breath. Something is wrong, very wrong. I can't put my finger on it. After I force myself to eat I drag my suitcase upstairs and begin to unpack.

6 weeks. I almost fall over as I realize what I have been missing. I haven't had my period in 6 weeks, since before I went on the road. It was finally getting back to normal after the pregnancy and surgery. I never started the birth control, I was going to when I got back but I don't think I need to now. No. I stare at myself in the mirror over the dresser at the far side of the room. I don't know anything yet. I reassure myself with empty words. 'It was just one time, it can't be. It's after effects from this whole ordeal. It's stress. Yeah that's it.'

I want to scream, I want to cry. I want to know right now if it is what I think it is. I also don't know if I can handle the truth.
.....
The free clinic bursts with people. I lay back and close my eyes, listening to the sounds the countless patients make. Crying infants, people talking in hushed tones, the wails of pain. I really hope no one recognizes me although they didn't when I was in the other day. 15 minutes later I am walking out with my results, too afraid to look. I knew from the moment I doubted myself in my room last week that I couldn't go back to the same doctor, I couldn't face him again.

Pulling into the driveway my courage is almost strong enough to tear open the envelope containing the read outs to my test, then I see Kelsey's car. I pull into the garage and without thinking I rip the paper open.

'Positive'

I must stare at the word for 10 minutes, I know what this means. I could die. The chances of both me and the baby surviving are practically zero. Strangely I feel calm. I close my eyes and leave my mind to wander into the future.

Hunter opens the front door, calls out. He's home! A little boy with my eyes and curly brown hair runs into his arms, Cole barks and joins them. A women with bright blond curls sees him as she comes around the corner, holding a little girl. Hunter can live without me, be happy without me. I am going to do anything in my power to make sure this baby lives.

"Andi?" I tear my eyes open and see Kelsey standing in front of the car. I shove the envelope and results into my purse and exit the car. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just a hard day." I shoot her a smile, hiding my pain. My time with her is limited, every moment more precious. The results showed I am around 7 weeks along, if I manage to carry this baby full term it means I have only 7 months left.

"I missed you! And we are happy you are home." Her bright face shines as we walk into the house.

"I missed you guys too!" I scoop Kennedy up and hug her tight as she greets me.

"I have dinner almost ready. Then we have some things to discuss."

I raise my eyebrows at her, she means mom and dad. We don't 'discuss' anything else. "And how are grandma and grandpa?" I direct my question at Kennedy but I continue to look at my sister.