Dangerous Magic

8. It's Just A Crush

Growing up, my mom let me watch old movies about high schools where the teachers fell into one of two categories (caring and perfect or dispassionate and cruel), and the students were either popular or they weren't.

We would curl up in front of the TV on our second-hand sofa or, after dad disappeared, in the back of our van huddled around a laptop, and devour those old movies. My whole life wasn't just training and homeschooling. Mom and I had fun, too; we just did it without magic. 

Life wasn't like those movies, but there was a certain type of magic to them. To tell a story--to be in charge of the characters and the plot--is to have power. I liked the idea of being powerful despite the way I was born. 

Many nulls didn't live as long as I had. They certainly didn't have to worry about things like popular kids and the drama they wrought. 

The popular kids rarely got along with people outside their circles. This often lead to the non-popular kids coming up with crazy ways to get back at the popular kids.

I was deep in thought, planning how to enact my revenge on Miley for trashing my room, when Mrs. Diana called my name. 

"Rochelle, can you give us an example of magic and technology working together?" 

No; I was too busy imagining putting blue hair dye in Miley's shampoo bottle. 

Mrs. Diana looked at me expectantly. In fact, the whole class waited for me to flub the answer with hushed anticipation. 

I could feel the eyes of my classmates on me. I didn't have to turn to know that the snickering behind me was Miley and her friends. 

"Airplanes?" I guessed. A collective giggle rippled softly through the class. Mrs. Diana raised a silent eyebrow. "Planes no longer have to rely on oil for fuel as long as there is a mage on board that can hold the weight of the plane and its occupants. Some private companies are working on a replacement for both the fuel and the mage." 

What I didn't add was that those companies had purchased nulls for their experimentation. It wasn't common knowledge. Anyone involved in the program would deny it.

"Nobody travels by plane anymore," came a voice from the back of the room. I thought I recognized Claire's disdainful tone. 

"You only think that because you've never gone anywhere," was Jackson's bored reply. Claire sputtered back at him.

I know he did not just stick up for me. Did he? When I turned at the sound of his voice, he narrowed his eyes at me for the briefest moment and then returned his attention to Claire."I'm sure what Rochelle meant to say was all travel has benefitted from the introduction of magic. It's more sustainable, it's faster, and everyone gets where they're going when magic is used by the right people." Though his words were a dig at me, Jackson spoke to Claire. 

I pursed my lips to keep my opinion from spilling out into the classroom. We didn't need another scene. Instead, I turned my back to him again.

Funny how I had no right to feel betrayal from Jackson, after all this time, and yet that didn't stop the pit in my stomach. 

Mrs. Diana continued her lesson, seemingly oblivious to the drama at the back of her classroom. More likely she hoped that by not acknowledging it the tension would fizzle out. 

"The magical revolution lasted sixteen years. It didn't take the human population long to document all of the different kinds of magic that had emerged. The revolution lasted almost two decades because humans couldn't agree on a power structure. Those with magic felt they should be in charge; those without disagreed." Based on Mrs. Diana's tone, I knew what camp she fell into. "The first revolt against magic, led by a religious leader in Texas, started shortly after the first proven cases of magical abilities in the United States."

That's when I stopped listening to her explanation of the magical revolution. The approved version of history wasn't going to cover the whole truth of that turmoil or the years that followed, and I wasn't interested in her trivialized rendition. 

The videos of that Texas congregation joyfully attacking a poor Elemental are still available online if you know where to look. I doubted Mrs. Diana would detail the witch hunt that ensued. My early education had extensive lessons on just how much hatred a human can harbor against their fellow humans simply because they are different. 

For the rest of the class, I could feel Jackson's eyes on the back of my head. He kept his distance but I could feel his brooding presence at my back between classes, just waiting for me to give myself away. 

I wished he wasn't so pretty. His frown, while still attractive, was an ugly mark that didn't belong on his face. It pulled attention away from his cheekbones and hid his dimple. Had he been less pretty, I might not have spent all of Rune Lore looking at him from the corner of my eye.

Emily stopped me on our way to lunch. "Let's go see if Ms. Williams is in her office so we can ask about Omega." 

I'd totally forgotten about the Omega Club. There was no way Ms. Williams would approve me for club membership after she tested me as Minor herself. The smells of fresh bread wafted down the hall but something in Emily's voice made me pause. 

"Besides, you are Jackson bait for some reason."

Ah, there it was. She didn't want to spend any more time with Jackson than I did.

"Not a member of the Jackson Lenoir fan club?" 

She flinched. "It's not that," she said quickly. "Our group doesn't get a lot of attention from the popular kids and if Jackson comes over to our table every day they might get the wrong impression."

I could tell she was lying. 

"What did he do to you?" I kept my voice low so the students passing us in the hall could not overhear. Emily just shifted her weight, looking at her shoes. "Did he hurt you?"

"No!" Her shout awarded us some weird looks but nobody approached to ask what she was yelling about. Quieter, Emily explained: "Look, when we both first got here, we were friends. He was really broken up about his sister's death, and I was convenient. Then he got hot and popular and didn't need me anymore."

She paused to take a shaky breath that made me question if she had ever admitted this secret.

"It's just a crush, okay?" she said after a minute. "A little unrequited love never killed anybody." 

I didn't think that was strictly true, but this wasn't the time to correct her. As much as I wanted to tell her that I, too, was one of Jackson's castoffs, I knew better. Just like I knew better than to plan revenge for my room or to join a school club. And yet...

"Let's go see Ms. Williams." I smiled at Emily; she deserved to be loved and cherished, and, at least for now, I could give her that. The knowledge that she was about to waste her one-time-only invitation on me, when I had no chance at making it into the club, weighed on my conscience. I was honored to be asked--which only made it worse. Friends were rare in my life, and I didn't want to disappoint Emily.

"You owe me lunch though. If I get hangry and blow stuff up, that's on you."

I was only kind of kidding.