Excuse my French

dix-sept. mardi gras

The mall. Why the hell did I pick the mall?

Honestly, at this point, I had no idea since I was still very tired from my drinking bout a couple nights ago (although I really shouldn't have been—after all, I did have lots of literary shit to go through on that weekend). I let out a long breath.

Luckily for me, Lila would probably waste more time on my behalf at the ice cream counter with her brother although she had no idea what was going on. She really didn't need to know. I mean, I still had no idea what was going on inside my own head, let alone hers or her brother's. As soon as he popped up in my head, I automatically looked up at the ice cream shop again. Yeah, it was a really good thing that he was going with his sister.

I fiddled with the book (with the very ugly Madame Bovary who seemed to sympathize with me with those nasty cockroach-brown eyes), biting down on my tongue. Why, Audrey? I wondered. Why in the world did I agree to drink with Lila Mercier?

I really didn't remember clearly Saturday night (or Sunday morning, as Luc would remind me if he was here). In a way, that was a good thing because I wouldn't have to think about all the idiotic things that I'd surely done (but again, L and O did some things that could be classified in a whole different category of stupid—the extreme kind). But then, I didn't really remember how I'd messed up.

Yeah, I'd gotten a little buzzed (the stage when I thought everything was tinted yellow and warm and nice-feeling), but I definitely didn't get drunk. From that night, I vaguely remembered watching a very confusing film (Dead Poets' Society, perhaps?). And then I'd stumbled upstairs at some point for whatever stupid reason. And Luc was there. And he was close to me at some point. And after that, I was back in the darkness of Lila's basement.

Maybe I'd missed out on some things. How would I regain those memories?

Unfortunately for me, I was unable to continue my thoughts, because Lila plopped herself down in the seat next to mine with a tiny container of ice cream (that probably cost about seven dollars) in her hand. "You bored?"

I straightened up immediately. "Um, not really. I was, uh, doing some deep contemplation about my current situation in life."

"I hope it wasn't about your athletic deficits," Lila responded, her face as serious as it was when she was meeting college reps. Actually, it looked like she was having a facial spasm since she couldn't decide whether she wanted to smile or not.

I rolled my eyes at her even though I felt my body flush a little (what in the world was I thinking that day?). "That was, uh, a short lapse in my judgment."

Out of nowhere, Luc seated himself across from me, raising an eyebrow. "A temporary one?"

See, that was the thing. Luc was a little too...casual about everything. Was it even conceivable that he could look at me without having those (what was I supposed to call them?) moments that we seemed to be having so often these days? He'd even offered to carry my backpack for me today like a proper gentleman (that he wasn't)! And I didn't even bring my backpack to the mall.

My left eye twitched. It tended to do that a lot these days (to be more specific, it started doing that after I got my contacts, but I liked to think that it was a very prophetic sort of twitch), especially when I sensed something was up.

I definitely did something stupid on Saturday. Or early Sunday morning.

In response to Luc, I could only dissolve into a coughing fit. Smooth, Audrey. Smooth. I let out a final huge cough, hoping that my spit wasn't flying everywhere, and swallowed. "It's very temporary, Lucien. I'm quite capable of making decisions."