[i] U.N.I.
The swing rocks slowly as she pushes on the ground with the heel of her foot. “Hey,” I say, sheepishly. She smiles as she looks up at me, her blue eyes twinkling against the sun.
She was beautiful. Blonde hair cascading down the back of her shoulders, and her arms wrapped gently around the chains of the swing.
“Hi. You’re the guy named Teddy, right?” Her high voice fills my ears with realization; I’m talking to the girl who I’ve been stalking the rest of my life.
“Edward,” I correct her. "My name's Edward. Ed, for short. My friends call me Teddy, but there’s another guy here named Teddy. So call me Ed, or Edward, or whatever you like.” I feel my cheeks redden with embarrassment. I knew I should have kept my rambling all to myself and let her call me Teddy instead.
“Do you have a middle name?” she asks, softly, as her white dress flies up to her knees from the weak wind.
“Christopher; but I don't really like it—”
“Christopher it is,” she cuts me off, smiling. The wind breezes through again and her beige hair band protects her face from the flying hair strands.
“I have to move on.” I pace back and forth in my room, repeating the phrase to myself again and again, while glancing at my watch from time to time. It’s currently 3:38 in the morning, and I’m still pacing in my room, having nothing accomplished at all. It’s impossible that she did not leave even one thing inside my room.
It's just utterly impossible.
“But how could I move on if I’m still in love with you?” I whisper to myself, my finger circling at the little tattoo on my arm symbolizing the both of us.
Two birds, flying.
“You never told me,” I pause. She turns to look around and her hair flies around her face as the sun seems to brighten her smile even more. “What is your favourite animal?”
“Well, that’s a silly question to ask isn’t it, Christopher? Asking a girl what her favorite animal is?” she states, giggling at the fact that I’ve asked her a stupid question.
It was not stupid at all. I believe. It was brilliant.
Still, she answered. “Well, I like doves. They look so pure, and lovely. That’s why my favourite colour is white. I remember my mum telling me white was the colour of purity.”
I pick up the old laced hairband she wore at the first day we talked; She told me she always kept it inside her favorite shoe's shoebox.
Something stops me from my constant pacing. “So, this is what she left with me. This from all things...” I tell myself. I must look mad talking to myself.
Finally, I could sleep. Now that I’ve got something to remember her by, I can fall sleep without any more interruptions. I check my watch one more time. It’s 4:51 in the morning. I could sleep all day tomorrow; not caring if ever she would decide to come back or not. All I care about is that she left one thing for me to remember the times that we’ve been through with each other. Soon, if I’m not in love with her anymore, I’ll have to thank her for all the memories we created. For all the laughter we shared—for the adventure she gave me. For happiness.
“Look at that!” she screams, running on top of the hill, pointing at the shooting star above us.
“Oh, God, is this serious?” I follow her, looking up.
Shooting stars are rare.
“You have to make a wish!” She scolds me as she noticed I was just gawking at its beauty.
“Have you even made a wish?” I ask her.
“Of course, I did. Now, it’s your turn to make a wish. It’s now or never!”
I close my eyes, and obey. I wished for the same thing I wish for every single day since I met her: To have her.
We’ve known each other for seven straight years. We were both eight years old when we first met. She was always the person I wished I could be with.
I flutter my eyes open, noticing her eyes on me. I turn to her, “What?” I ask with a chuckle.
“What did you wish for, Ed?” she asks. It was weird hearing her say the name I prefer the most, it still gave me tingles inside.
I looked at her through her deep blue eyes. Shining just below the moonlight. We were so close—yet so far.
“You.” I reply, and without even thinking, I lean in and press my lips against hers. Her arms wrap around my neck, and she kisses back.
I was shocked, amazed, happy—I was her first kiss.
“What?” I mumble to the phone lazily, still on my bed.
“Come on, we have to go! What the hell, Ed?”
“Five more minutes, yeah?” I mutter, and shove my phone under my pillow.
She really will never call, will she?
“I need to.”
“I can provide for us, please stay?” I beg, looking at the same eyes I look at every single day.
“Ed, you know it’s hard to get in uni. You know this would happen. What if...” she bites her lip, hesitating on telling me what was on her mind.
“What if, what?” I ask, cupping her chin, lifting it.
“What if we don’t end up being together? I play safe, Ed. You should, too,” she continues.
I sigh, gently placing my lips onto hers for the last time. I shut my eyes hard.
“Take care.”
Now, I’m in her university. After two years, I’m going to see her. Today. In the concert in her university.
I walk in the hallway, a number of eyes looking at me. I ignore, and just make my way into the crowd.
And, I can sense the scent I have not been able to smell in a long time. Vanilla and cinnamon—the one that made me feel so at home and so safe and happy.
I look ahead and find the same girl before. She was thinner, her hair appeared longer and she was definitely taller.
She looks at me, and looks away as if I was just one with the cracks in the wall no one had paid enough attention to mend. Even if I were the highest skyscraper in the universe; and if she was Google Earth, she would not be able to see me. I guess, that’s the way things are meant to be now, isn’t it?
so, i'm not close to you anymore.
