I Wish I Had Her Life

10.

Matapos ang pag-uusap na iyon, nag-walk out lang si Katherine sa conversation nila. She was hesitant if she wanted her as her Mother. Of course, she does. Pero, malaking adjustment ang kakailanganin niya knowing that they are now a broken family. Palagi nang nakatatak sa utak niya na ganito ang sitwasyon niya. But, to actually met your mother in unexpected way, it's a total different story.

KATHERINE'S POV:

Ang dami kong nalaman ngayon, Lea was right. This is too much for one heart. Oh, I forgot. I'm her "daughter" ako 'yung sinakripisyo niya para makarating siya sa kinabibilangan niya ngayon. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for her. I'm happy for what she became in the industry. If it's not to her, theatre would be discriminated against by other people. She indeed introduces theatre in our country.

Pero, kailangan ba talagang may mag-suffer sa success ng iba? I was happy living with my Dad. Kahit hindi gano'n kaganda ang trato sa akin ng kinikilala kong Nanay. But, she (Lea) has no idea for what I have been through dahil lang sa inuna niya 'yung career niya. Does it have to be like this? I don't know what I am supposed to do. Should I let her know me? Or hahayaan ko na lang na umarte kaming hindi namin kilala ang isa't-isa?

"Hindi na ata ako mapapatawad ng anak natin." Pababa na sana ako pero narinig ako ang boses ni Lea habang nakikipag-usap sa Daddy ko.

Sumilip ako ng dahan-dahan para hindi nila ako makita to see kung ano ang ginagawa nila. Nakita kong niyayakap ni Papa si Lea.

"Bigyan mo lang ng oras si Kath. She may be straight-forward just like you. But katulad mo, mapagpatawad 'yun. She's just been through hell. And, she adores you a lot."

"If I could turn back time, I would've picked our family instead."

Nakita ko ang mga tinginan nila. Na tila bang hindi pa rin nagbabago ang nararamdaman nila sa isa't-isa. Napa-isip ako, bumalik ako sa aking silid upang aliwin ang aking sarili sa aking nakita. 

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Kahit saan-saan na ako pumupunta. Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, YouTube, Tiktok. Until may nakita akong isang workshop that I've waited for. Surprise daw 'yung mga coaches. And, this is what I have been waiting for. Kaya, I've signed up for that.

Kabisado ko naman 'yung number ng Daddy ko. And, he wouldn't mind wasting my money. Since alam kasi talaga niya kung gaano kagastos ang pagsali o para lang mapabilang ka sa theatro.

The start day is tomorrow. Buti na lang, nakahabol ako. Kasi talagang as in one slot na lang ang natitira for that workshop. I think the universe reserved that for me. I think they know what I need.

Pagkatapos kong pindutin ang okay, I was successfully enrolled. In-screenshot ko lang 'yung brochure na ipapakita ko when I entered production in Tokyo. Yeah, that's where Lea's venue during her musical production in Allegiance. Pero, iba naman ang pakay ko dito. I still love her as an artist, tho. But, as my own real mother? I love her. But, I'm not ready to face her nor my Dad.

I went to my stuff and start packing things. Usually sa mga workshops na sinasalihan ko, required na matulog doon. So, you should have spare clothes in order for you to get ready just in case na hindi kayo pauwiin ng company.

I texted my Dad about my plans. Even if alam kong nasa kabilang kuwarto lang siya or nasa same kami ng bahay. I just can't face this right now. Really, this is too much for one heart.