The Unbelievable Life of Lynn Carmina

Chapter 26: Everything Changes

Sorry I made you wait but it is long so you better enjoy it! ( that sounded perverted ;P) This chap is a little naughty, but not that naughty!!

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recap chap 25:

I lifted my head and frowned at my friends. They all knew about this and never said a word, some friends they turned out to be. My head was spinning with unanswerable questions, the most important of them being ‘did I make the right choice’ followed closely by ‘how the hell was I going to face Julien and his family’.

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Chapter 26: Everything Changes

I sat there for I don’t know how long, with my heart beating wildly in my chest and a huge lump in my throat. I was incredibly nervous. I felt like Forrest Gump, sitting on the bench with that damn box of chocolates, waiting to go see Jenny so she could tell him about the son he wasn’t aware of and that she was dying of AIDS.  Yeah, that nervous!

Sometimes I felt like Jenny, like a slutty drug addict who took advantage of a poor simpleton by getting pregnant and now paid the price by dying from AIDS. Okay, so I’m not a druggy and I don’t have AIDS, but I am slutty, I was pregnant and I’m dying right now. I’m dying inside because I have to face Julien’s family and wife.

“Nervous Lynn?” Jay asked from beside me when he pulled into Julien’s driveway.

“No.” I answered defensively. I wasn’t going to tell him that I was freaking out because I was in love with Julien and now I had to meet his wife. I’m crazy, but not that crazy.

“It’s Julien isn’t it? It’s always Julien.” Jay responded and he leaned closer so that his lips were very near my ear. I felt his warm breath as it tickled my skin causing shivers to run through my body. Damn you Jay.

“No, why would you say that?” I questioned and attempted to distance myself from his closeness. I was uncomfortable with how near he was to my body. This only fueled my anxiety.

“You know I like you Lynn. You’re beautiful, funny and your body is smoking hot. I’d do you in a second if you weren’t married.” Jay announced playfully, but his tone conveyed seriousness that surprised me.

Where had I heard those words before? Oh right, that was what Mark’s friend Ryan said to me. I’m in so much trouble here. I can’t do this Jay, even if I wanted to which I certainly didn’t. I was about to respond when his lips suddenly met mine.

He pressed his warm lips to mine softly, moving them for just a few seconds before he pulled back. I was shocked. I hadn’t expected him to do that at all. It kind of ruins our friendship. How am I supposed to act around him now that I know he likes me? How could he kiss me like that? What if Julien saw that and gets pissed and jealous because he doesn’t like guys touching me, especially Jay.

“I know I don’t have a chance with you, but I wanted to do that just once. I’m not stupid Lynn, Julien is my best friend. We were friends before the program and I know he loves you. You love him too. I can see it in the way you stare at each other.” Jay explained and I couldn’t help but be stunned by his words.

Fuck! Jay knows too. If he knows, who else knows about us? The list is growing at an exponential rate. I can’t say that I’m happy about half the people I know being aware of the not-so–relationship relationship I have with just Julien.

My heart was beating faster than before and I took a few breaths to calm myself. I wanted to reply, make up any excuse that sounded remotely believable and coherent, but I had nothing. Damn my messed up and retarded mind! I shuffled nervously and put much needed space between us. I just sat silently and beat back the shock and embarrassment that I knew was written all over my face.