Jasper

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1. Take Alice shopping.
2. Wrestle Emmett.
3. Wrestle Edward.
4. Teach Renesmee swear words.
5. Ruin All Rosalie's makeup.
6. Drop Jacob off at a gay bar and leave him there.
7. Ask Esme to cut his toenails.
8. Sign Carlisle up to donate blood at the hospital.
9. Tell Charlie that Bella had a vampire baby.
10. Rename himself Jasper tank commander.

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