Girl made of Beast

The Love Affair

Slipping my feet over the edge of the bed, I wake up to the loud void of nothing. Not even the hum of static made noise because nothing in this house was turned on.

She's gone beside me, her twist of blankets left behind to mimick her body. I yawn and stand, sweeping sleep from my eyes. The lack of curtains extrudes morning light that I squint through, checking again for her form beside me. Rarely ever does she wake up before myself, and judging from the silent sky, it's too early for even birds to be awake.

I'm not worried, however. She hasn't a mind of her own to act irrational. She'll be throughout the house somewhere, entertaining the animal within herself.

I slip on an old t shirt over my shorts, walking into the bathroom and brushing my teeth. The beast, the beast, the beast. She once awoke with nature, now she awakes before. Whatever will I do with her? I leave the bathroom and saunter into the kitchen. There's still no sight of her, and a part of me relaxes.

The one landline connected to the wall, despite her wishes, beeps irritated in a pattern. I press audio, standing patiently before the counter.

"Please enter your voicemail password." I do so. "You have four new messages. First message."

I stand static before the counter, my ears ringing with the volume of the words in the vacancy. I try hard to catch the message, disregarding the call of the void.

I've just listened to the end of the third message when I hear a creak resonate from the back porch. Outside the sliding door I see her figure, slouched and disappointing. I sigh and cut off the machine, glancing at the floor near the fridge. The Nicotine box was gone, and the islands counter space had been wiped clean. I rub at an irritated eye and make way onto the porch, closing the door behind me.

Her hair was still messy and toyed with the wind, highlighted by the suns rays. Her pale skin sparkled and her soft, luminous eyes found mine. Though my own were more focused on the white steam flowing from her lips. She sat with her legs drawn up against the railing, and I gently positioned my body between her legs. Her mouth twitched in a guilty smile, I pressed mine flat.

I brought one hand to curve around her waist, my other stripping hers of the vaporizer. "I told you I didn't want you smoking these," I admonish.

Our eyes lock as I toss it onto a table of planted pots, listening for the clunk to silence its landing. Her lower lip falls down, revealing square white teeth. She says no words as her hands snake up to my shoulders, and for a moment I let her. How can she not say anything? I warned her about this, and she contravenes me? My neck is suddenly pulled closer to hers, and I place my balance in my arms gripping the railing on either side of her waist. Our lips touch, and it feels okay because they're soft, and I'm looking into her eyes, but then her tongue bolts out too quickly and I pull my head back.

"No," I say, using enough force to break from her hold on my neck. "No, you're not going to use our love affair to avoid this."

Her eyes widen and she slips her hands to my chest, sitting up. "I'm not avoiding anything," Her lips twitch up assuringly, but the acts too recent and I saw it coming.

"Your father called." The words send a harsh look into her eyes, and she retracts her arms from my chest. The winds blows lengths of gold across her face, and she tucks the pieces behind her ear, lowering her gaze.

"You're sisters older husband passed away," She shook her head, anger rising. She pushed against my chest, trying to leave, but my legs between hers prevented her escape. The only other way was down, and I doubted she'd fall off the porch. "Your brother is getting married in a few months," I slowed, waiting for her to realize what was to come next.

"Stop!" She raged, glorious eyes meeting mine for seconds before she submitted under my gaze.

I kept my hands clutched on the railing beside her, making no room for her to leave. I stayed quiet for a quick moment, and so did she. Only I knew she didn't understand, not yet.

"It's her birthday today," I lowered my head to look into her eyes. They watered but more with loathe than despair. "She turned sixteen."

"What?" She screamed in a raspy voice, pushing at my torso repeatedly. It must be from the vaporizer, I imagine. "What do you want from me?"

I leaned back, now satisfied she was at least speaking to me. "I want you to quit eschewing this, I want you to take responsibility for your actions!"

She drew back her hands and looked around, her only getaway tumbling into the bushes. "You think I don't realize that? You think I don't feel guilty for leaving her there? What was I supposed to do!"

"You can do something now!" I said loudly, making sure my words burned into her brain. "It's your family! You have to call your father!"

I stared into the passionate light of her eyes, wondering if there was any beast at all. Was it fully out now, hassling me with stubborn remarks, or was this all girl, and deep inside her mind the beast dozed off. All girl, with a mind of her own and rambling thoughts, or a beast angry at me and refusing what she knows is best for her. It was the beast in the first place that made her push everything aside, ignoring it. Ignoring herself, friends and family. Ignoring people, ignoring problems. Was this girl, was there ever really a beast at all?

"Why do you insist on starting a fight with me?" She cried out now, as she had hit against my chest and I decided to restrain her wrist rapidly with one of my hands.

"I'm not insisting! This is for your own good!" Her eyes spilt water and the beast was asleep again, unless it had already been. "You can't abandon them!"

Her previous steady stance slouched as she caved into me, eyes glassy and red now. "Please, let go of me." She cried. "What do you want me to do?" She no longer shouted, rather pleaded.

"You go in there, and call your father right now." She nodded quickly, and I loosened my grip on her hand, stepping back and helping her down.

She raced passed me, and I made sure she didn't grab the vaporizer secretly. She was made of dirty tricks and a mouth full of lies. I hadn't been gripping her wrist too sharply at all. The beast was out again, lurking in unseen ways.