Ziam: Never to happen (1D One-shot)

Ziam story

Liam's P.O.V
It all started with a party in London, that neither me or Zayn wanted o follow Harry, Niall and Louis to. We spent the evening together at the hotel room watching movies and playing games instead. That was the evening I realized something big. I really liked Zayn before that evening too, don't think something else. It's just that I, this evening realized it was more that. That I felt something for him.
That was a year ago, and it's been a hard year, it really has. To be in love is hard. But to spend time, all days, with that person makes it even harder. And when you have to hide it away from press and a whole band, you spend most of life with it's almost unbearable. It's been like that for one year now. Every time I sit next to him in an interview I feel my heart beat harder and faster, and my cheeks getting hot. It's hard to hide that from the camera but I think I've hid it quite well, and that's good. The bad thing is just that I can't hide it good enough when I'm alone with just him and the other boys. I actually think Niall's noticed me blushing at least seven times when I've been looking at Zayn.
The good thing about being alone with Zayn is that there's only one person there to see me blush. The bad thing is that it's the person I blush because off. Sometimes I actually wish that I got brave enough to tell him. I want him to know my secret...
..........
''Okay, there is a party at seven o'clock this evening, are you coming?'' Niall asked with excitement in his voice. Of course Harry and Louis nodded immediately. Zayn was quiet just like me.
''I'm tired I don't think I'll manage to stay awake at a party'' Zayn replied. Okay, I thought, now I've got a chance to tell him. Am I going to take it? I asked myself.
''No...I don't think I'll go either.'' I answered. Niall gave me a quick look, okay he's noticed it.
''Boring people...'' Louis muttered.
''Okay we're going now anyway?'' Harry pointed out and stood up from the couch.
''I'll just ask Liam something.'' Niall said and I felt my temperature rise as I followed him out of the room.
''I'll just ask you one thing.'' Niall said and looked at the floor for a second. ''Perhaps I'm wrong but I've seen that you..'' It wasn't hard to see that Niall doubted his judgment at this point.
''That I've blushed when I've looked at Zayn the last year?'' The words just flew out of my mouth. Niall looked stunned for a moment.
''I was right wasn't I?'' He asked a little impressed by himself.
''Yeah, but Niall...please don't tell the others.'' Niall nodded.
''I won't...'' We both looked down at our feet in silence before Niall continued. ''Good luck.'' He spoke and walked past me, out of the room to Louis' car.
..........
I found Zayn in the big hotel room we all shared. He sat in the couch with his playstation-control in his hands, staring at the TV screen. I caught myself thinking that he looked really handsome from this angle.
''Hi Liam...'' He spoke slowly, half distracted by the game. The way he, without purpose, lingered at my name made my heart beat like notes in thirty sixths. I stepped into the room and closed the door behind me.
''You wanna play with me?'' Zayn asked, paused the game and handled me the other game control. I stepped forward to the couch and sat down beside Zayn. I reached for the controll and an electric shock went through my fingers as my hand touched his. Zayn smiled at me, and I felt my cheeks turn red, before he turned to the TV screen again.
''Okay do you wanna play...vs. game or team game?'' He asked, still with his eyes fixed at the TV.
''You can choose'' I replied. Zayn chose vs. game and pressed the start button. I watched him in the corner of my eye while the game loaded. He sighed quietly sometimes when the game didn't start and he had to start it again. He was really beautiful I thought, and I was happy that I wasn't a fan with a wild dream to meet Zayn Malik in real life. That I actually had his number on my phone and could talk to him whenever I wanted.
I couldn't really concentrate on the game as I usually could, even when I was alone with Zayn. I think my little conversation with Niall contributed to that. His words 'Good luck' felt almost like al challenge. A little like a bet I had to win. The bet 'I bet you five pounds that you can't tell Zayn what you feel for him, now that you have the chance'. I had to do this. Tonight.
''Yes I beat you!'' Zayn laughed and put down his game control. ''What's with you today Liam? You never lose Pokémon games.'' I fake yawned and answered.
''I'm just tired.'' Oh stop it Liam. Don't make white lies like that just tell him. I felt really stupid for letting that chance go.
''I'm tired to.'' Zayn smiled and threw his arms around me. I felt my body tense as he hugged me and I almost froze when he rested his chin on my shoulder. I had to do it now!
''Emm...Zayn'...'' I started. Oh his name coming from my mouth sounded so bad. Not beautiful like sunshine and butterflies like it did when others said it, but like stupid random sounds mixed into a name someone thought sounded okay. Luckily Zayn didn't think of that.
''Yes what is it?'' Okay now is the big moment I have to do it now. I tried to remember how easily the words had left my mouth earlier when I spoke to Niall, but it was impossible.
''I have to tell you something...important.'' I turned my head and red blushing cheeks to Zayn. Looked him deep in the eyes and hoped that he, by my look would understand the message, but with no result. I let go of his beautiful brown eyes. Took a deep breath and opened my mouth.
''I don't know how to say this, but I have to and it's been so hard to hold this to myself.'' I looked up at him again and could bet my whole career that my face revealed everything I was going to say. Zayn just looked at me as he waited for me to continue.
''I love the others in the band and I know you do too, we're like brothers but...I-'' Zayn interrupted me halfway through the sentence.
''-are you gonna quit the band?'' Okay I think I just lost my career to someone, Zayn couldn't read anything from my face as I had thought.
''No, I just meant that I love them like brothers while, you're...something more to me.'' I had never seen Zayn look as confused as he did now. ''Ziam'' I slowly added. He just stared at me for a minute as he let the words sink in. After what felt like a quarter, ewhen I thought my head was going to explode of nervousness, he opened his mouth. He frowned a little and the look he gave me made me want to sink through the ground.
"So...what you are trying to say is..."
"That I'm in love with you!" I almost screamed out the words. And when I did it was like a heavy burden eased off me, leaving an empty space inside me that could either be left like that the rest of my life or be filled with happiness.
"Oh Liam..." Zayn whispered and moved closer to me, making the blood boil in my veins. he fixed his eyes on me and it made it impossible for me to look away.
"I was actually going to...tell all of you this today, but I see that I have to tell you it now." His eyes turned sad. The hope inside me got weaker and the empty whole in me grew.
"I've, just got a...girlfriend." The words didn't have to sink in as my words to Zayn had had to. They hit me right in the heart like a gun bullet and I felt something break inside me. Before I could stop myself I threw myself into Zayn's arms. I held him close to me as I started to sob into his shirt. I felt his arms wrap around me as I started to shake...

Zayn's P.O.V
That night is a night I'll never forget, and that changed something in the band forever. I'm just happy the press didn't find out anything, so I didn't have to se it in the gossip magazines. The bad thing is that I get reminded of it every time I look Liam in the eyes. I know that he told Niall about what happened. I know he described it as 'something was broken inside him' and it is. I can see it, and it makes me so sad.
I'm sorry that I can't feel the same as you feel towards me, towards you. But we both know I have to do what feels right in my heart, but that means I'll break your heart. And that means...
Ziam will never come true...
End